What Makes A Family
by With This Naked Truth
Summary: Jack Mercer loved a woman once- until she disappeared without a backwards glance. But after the death of his mother, she returns with a vengeance and a secret that threatens to destroy everything she was to him, all that he's believed in and what they've become. Rated M for language, violence and adult situations. Enjoy from Lady Elle :
1. The Call

**What Makes A Family**

**A Four Brothers Fanfiction**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>I fell out of bed and groaned when I hit the floor, still relatively hung over from the night before. I'd barely made it home, but thanks to the watchful eyes of my friends, I'd gladly not made the mistake of going home with Mr. Nobody. I sighed and looked up when my roommate walked in, smirking at the earful I was about to get.<p>

"Jesus, you look like hell Kate."

I laughed weakly as I pulled myself into a semi-sitting position, running my fingers back through my tangled hair, "I feel like hell." She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest, setting her jaw in half-hearted anger. "Yeah and you almost got your little ass picked up by some idiot who just had the vibe of a serial killer." I rolled my eyes, wanting nothing more than to get breakfast as I attempted to stand and promptly fell back to the ground. "But I didn't get picked up by some idiot who was probably a serial killer so you don't get to yell at me- besides, I have a headache and if you yell…"

Trish shook her head and sighed, tossing something at me. Instinctively, I caught it and looked down at my cell phone, raising an eyebrow. "Its been ringing since two this morning," she murmured.

"Shit."

"Seems like some really serious shit. Someone must've really wanted your ass last night."

When I dialed the number back I was greeted by a polite 'hello'. "Hi; are you the one that's been calling my phone all night," I questioned, unsure of the voice on the other end of the line. "Really Katherine- first I spend all night trying to get a hold of you and now you greet your favorite big brother like a stranger. Nice."

"Why the fuck are you calling me Jerry," I asked quietly, feeling all of the blood drain from my face.

Trish seemed to be alarmed, mouthing for me to hang up the phone. I shook my head as I started to protest, Jeremiah laughing humorlessly over the phone and I narrowed my eyes angrily before he continued to speak. "You need to come home. Now," he said almost demandingly, the need to rebel welling up inside of me. "Fuck you dude- Detroit is not home for me. I told all of you fucks when I left that you'd never see me again. I swear, I fucking hate Mercers-"

"Kate, shut the hell up and listen to me, okay? Baby… Mama died last night."

It was only a whisper, but my whole world went silent as I struggled to comprehend what he had just said to me.

"Mom's dead? Mama is dead? Jerry- Jerry!"

Evelyn Mercer had been my saving grace; when I was a child, I was orphaned in an act of violence- an act perpetrated by my father, an act that killed my mother. After being shuttled from home to home for years, I landed in the arms of Detroit's miracle worker and there, I found a family that I began to call my home. And even after all that we went through together- when the rest of my family had abandoned me- she was still there, always the one to stand by my side.

And now, she was gone.

"Kate," Jerry said quietly.

I began to hyperventilate, unable to catch my breath even as I struggled to speak.

"How Jerry? I need to know how," I sobbed, my hand curling into a fist on my thigh. He sighed quietly and if I had been there, I would have sworn that he would be sitting in his kitchen somewhere in the dark. Jerry would be staring at the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose as he attempted to find the words. "It was… uh, it was a convenience store hold up. She was… shot; they said she went quickly. She didn't suffer," Jerry replied, sniffling quietly. I cried and he was silent on the phone, listening to me as I came to terms with my grief.

"I'm coming. Right now- I'm coming home Jerry."

Jerry exhaled deeply, "Yeah Kate. We need you."

I hung up with my brother and stood up, trembling slightly as I attempted to stay on my feet. Trish looked at me sadly, her lips parting as her eyes searched mine carefully. "You look like you lost your best friend," she whispered, the words seeming to pain her.

"I feel like I did," I replied.

"And now I'm going to lose mine. You already told me that your death would be waiting for you there."

Trish watched me as I moved to my closet, robotically pulling my suitcase out and beginning to pack my things. She then moved to stand over me, her hand on my shoulder, "Katie, I cannot lose you too. You know that my husband walked out on me, that I lost my baby- I'm telling you now that I can't handle losing anyone else that I love." I looked up at my best friend and shook my head, swallowing. "I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled and sank down to the floor where I was, taking the balled up clothes from my hand. "Go take a shower baby; I've got this," Trish murmured, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. I smiled despite how much pain I was in and went to get myself together, knowing that I was in for hell the minute I stepped foot on Michigan soil. Not only was I returning to bury the one person I could say picked me up out of the gutter and saved my life, I would be reunited with the few people that had made a talent of getting underneath my skin.

Jerry would probably be ticked off that I had kept away for so long.

Chances were that Bobby wouldn't even be there.

Angel would still be brooding over things that happened in past that I had yet to make atonement for.

And Jack, he'd kill me; that much I was sure of.


	2. Homecoming

I sat on the plane, staring out of the window at the endless expanse of cloudless sky. It was all so peaceful and irrelevant up here, like nothing mattered… but soon enough, I'd have to come down and it would all come rushing back like floodwaters. I didn't even know what I was doing going back after all this time; it wasn't like I was going back to the good times when I was young, when love was exactly what it seemed…

Everything was different now.

Years had passed and I had changed… and I would be a fool if I thought for one minute that he had not changed as well.

And that's what scared me the most.

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><p>I looked out into the ice and the cold, shivering unpleasantly. I knew he'd laugh if he were here…<p>

"_Damn, if you hate the cold you're in the wrong city babe." _

Detroit, Michigan. I watched the buildings pass by slowly as my taxi driver began to navigate the icy streets, seeing many of my old haunts. The laughter of children in the park was punctuated by gunfire only a street or two over.

It was home.

All of the memories were threatening to boil to the surface and I fought in silence to keep them down, my nails digging into my thigh. The man up front had tried to talk to me earlier, but soon stopped because I just simply could not respond. We were getting closer and closer... and all I wanted was to run. Because in a few moments, I'd be back in the shitty ass neighborhood I'd fought so hard to stay out of when I was younger. And because the only thing waiting for me there were unanswered questions, painful memories and the ghosts of my pasts.

"Ma'am, we're here."

I sat until he turned and looked at me expectantly, stepping out hesitantly and pulling my coat tighter around me. The air hit me and it took my breath away, pulling me back to a time when I was breathless for much different reasons than the cold here. I found myself looking up at the quaint, warm looking two-story townhouse and for once, I preferred the snow to the hallways of that house.

I bit my bottom lip.

My driver carried my things to the door and I followed after him, swallowing as I rang the doorbell. The suddenly flurry of laughter and noise from inside the house quieted and there was a heaviness of footsteps approaching the door. A familiar- though older- face appeared and I gave a little smile, the man gasping. "Kate?"

"Hello Jerry," I said as he embraced me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and shut my eyes against the tears. I was overwhelmed by how much I missed him- it been too long. Soon we broke apart and he stepped back to look at me. "Damn Katie; its been almost six years. You've grown up! And you've gotten tall." I smiled and nodded, "Its been a long time big brother."

"Come in, come in. The whole gang's here now- except for Angel of course. You know him," Jerry replied, rolling his eyes. "I'll get your bags."

I moved ahead of Jerry and into the house, taking off my jacket and hanging in on the coat rack. I was a little wary to venture any further, so I just wrung my hands as I waited for Jerry, my heart beating in staccato. Being home was… nice, but things had changed and I could already feel the heaviness in the air; being back in this house was going to be hard. Especially without the only real tie I had to this place…

I knew I couldn't think about that and so I began to think about what hell awaited me just down the hall. Like Jerry had said, it'd been years. I quietly began to steel myself for what was about to come. I knew Jack too well to think that he'd be absolutely fine with me making an unexpected arrival at what was undoubtedly the worst time in his life. He did hate me, after all.

"Kate…"

"Is he here," I asked quietly. Jerry's pitiful expression was my only answer and so I took a deep breath, swallowing the knot in my throat. I began walking down the hall, hearing my heels sound abnormally loud in the silence between the front door and the living room. "Jerry, what the hell is taking you so long? And what the fuck is that noise-" Bobby's bellowing cut off abruptly as I stood in the doorway, his eyes growing to the size of small dinner plates. I almost smiled at the man who was normally beyond nonplussed but one look at the man on the other side of the couch kept me somber. His hand tightened on the arm of the sofa, his entire body stiffening. He looked much, much taller than he had been the last time I had seen him, his hair shorter from the days in which it hung at his collarbones, spiky and in perfect disarray.

Eyes the color of seafoam took me in slowly, starting from my feet until he met my eyes.

I was wearing black platform booties, tight black jeans holding tightly onto curves that I hadn't really had the last time he'd seen me. A burgundy lace top that was backless, hugging my large breasts and taut stomach. My honey-brown hair tumbled to my waist, lighter than my dark caramel skin with my eyes as colorless as ever.

"Katherine…"

I bit my bottom lip. "Jack," I whispered, inhaling deeply.

And then suddenly, without another word, he stood up in a blinding movement, brushing past me as he ran out of the front door, leaving me stunned as I stared at Bobby. His expression morphed from shock to anger quicker than I could speak, he too standing up. The man that I had called my brother made to move past me as well but instead glared down at me as I cowered back, his mouth twisted into an evil sneer. "You should've never come back Kate. Never." And there it was, the pain that I had buried so many years ago, ripping through my soul until it threatened to just kill me all over again.

Because the Kate he knew was dead- and she would never come back.


	3. Confliction

"Hmm, maybe if I lay my head down…"

The room was spinning and I would have done anything to simply make it stop, which included reaching for the bottle of Jack Daniels in front of me. I worked off the lid and pushing away my glass, I simply tilted the bottle up as tears began to run down my face, "Definitely not drunk enough. Still hurts." The liquor burned in all the best ways and I blinked viciously, letting out a painful sob as the memories began to overwhelm me.

"Kate?"

I looked up at Jerry standing in the doorway, bitter and angry as his eyes searched my face. "This isn't how its supposed to work. When you've drank as much as I have, you know what to expect. The alcohol is supposed to make you forget but everything's still the same and it hurts in ways that I will never be able to explain-" I burst into tears and Jerry came over to my side, taking me in his arms, "Katie, stop crying please. I can't handle it when you cry- you know your big brother can't stand to see you hurting." His fingers caressed my cheek and I shook my head, my heart lurching as I longed for fingers other than his. "And you know you're not supposed to drink this hard kiddo. Jesus, you should have passed out by now- that was a whole bottle of Daniels," Jerry murmured, sighing quietly. I laughed pitifully, chewing on my bottom lip as I struggled not to sob. "I could never handle my liquor, could I? But drinking on a regular basis has helped some- it was the only thing that would work for me, that would take away the pain… And I'm hurting so bad Jeremiah, I've never been in this much pain before."

"Katherine- I am not the one you need to be saying this to."

I sniffed a few time as my shaking lessened, Jerry standing in silence. The silence between us hung heavily for a while, until I mustered up the strength to speak, "I miss him." My older brother nodded and patted the top of my head, heavy footsteps nearing the doorway. I looked up to see Bobby and laughed sadly, shaking my head. "Could this get any better?"

"She's drunk bro; she doesn't need any more shit right now," Jerry murmured, Bobby moving into the kitchen.

Jerry sighed in defeat and left, Bobby pulling up a chair in front of me.

"Wanna talk," he asked quietly. I glared up at him and set my jaw, "To you? Fuck no." Bobby smacked the bottle away when I reached for it, my eyes narrowing angrily. "Maybe you thought I was asking you a question, but I was definitely telling you that we're gonna fucking talk Katherine Scott. Now sit the fuck down."

I sighed and did as he told me to, signaling for Bobby to continue.

"I want you to know that you're a piece of shit-"

"Fuck you Bobby," I started, his dark eyes glinting angrily even in the dim light.

He snatched me forward by the seat of my chair making me flinch back as he leaned forward into my face, his breath hot and almost sweet. "You fucked him up and don't try and deny it because I was there, you heartless bitch. You disappeared for six years Kate- didn't call, didn't do anything. How could you expect for him to just let you waltz back into his life and be okay with it after what you did? How do you think that we would want you back here for our mother's funeral," Bobby asked in a venomous voice. I felt as if he were stabbing me in my heart and swallowed, shaking my head, "You don't know shit."

"I don't know shit?"

"No Bobby, you fucking don't," I shouted, lashing out as I came out of my chair. I hit him in the mouth and he caught himself as he lunged at me, panting angrily. "You think I don't know what I did? You think I didn't know what I was doing as I packed my bags? I knew exactly what the fuck I was doing- finally getting smart and getting the fuck out of dodge. I had to do what was right for me-"

Bobby laughed coldly, "Well now isn't that what you've always done? You only care about yourself Kate." I coughed a laugh and moved to get myself another bottle of alcohol, turning my back on Bobby. "Yeah, because I was only thinking about myself all those times I saved your ass. All those times I kept all four of you assholes from getting your asses kicked. All those times I was there to pick you when you were in a tight squeeze, when you didn't have anybody else to call. Because I'm just such an insanely selfish bitch, right? Yeah, that sounds just like me," I replied, popping open a bottle of Yager. I began to drink, feeling cold eyes searing my flesh. "You left him-"

"And you left me Robert Mercer! Do you not remember that? Me, standing on the fucking doorstep in my tee shirt and panties in the middle of a Detroit winter, begging you not to leave- begging you not to abandon me for doing what I had to do. At that moment in time I didn't fucking care about myself and you can't lie about that because I know you saw that look on my face, heard the pain in my voice. Jack didn't matter, ma didn't matter- nothing else mattered to me but you. And you fucking walked out on me Bobby- you walked on all of us Bobby. You're the reason I fucking left in the first place because I looked up to you, because I followed after you because you were my family," I screamed, turning to face him. Bobby's eyes glazed over the tiniest bet as he stood, towering over me.

"Family, my ass. And I came back Kate- you didn't."

I tilted up my bottle before answering, venom dripping from every word, "Because he told me not to."

Bobby smirked as he began to walk, turning his back on me.

"Since when did you ever listen to anything he said?"


	4. A Helpful Hand

"Fucking women…"

I woke up to the sound of Jack's deep, husky voice, being jostled in the arms as he climbed up the stairs presumably to take me to bed. Looking up at him wearily, I smiled, just happy that he wasn't yelling at me- he should have been yelling. "You left, but you came back," I whispered, resting my head against his chest. "Well, this is my house. Now," he replied in a monotone, kicking open one of the doors.

"I'm really drunk Jack."

He chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head at me, "Don't I fucking know it Kate? You were passed out on the kitchen floor, half-naked and looking like you either ran into the walls or beat the shit out of yourself…"

"I did- I mean, I did both. Ran into the walls head first and bet the shit out of my legs," I murmured.

He laid me on the bed and I immediately closed my eyes, sinking into the soft bedding that still smelled of Marlboro smoke and my favorite perfume. I might have imagined it but I could have sworn that he rested his large hand on the top of my head briefly, a familiar gesture that I had so longed for the last six years. It was our thing, the small action that let me know that he was there.

But neither of us were truly there in that moment.

* * *

><p>I awoke to the sound of a guitar being strummed softly, groaning as I clamped my hand over my eyes to ward off the sunlight. "Does the noise bother you Katie," Jack asked quietly, his voice seeming to waiver. I shook my head in reply as I sighed, "No, its actually very soothing. Thank you."He chuckled and I pulled myself up into a sitting position, meeting Jack's eyes icy blue eyes. The movement made me feel like I was going to be completely sick, but I had something important to say to him, taking a few shallow breaths to fight the nausea.<p>

"You know, I'm sorry. About everything," I murmured, biting down on my bottom lip.

"Don't you fucking dare," Jack said, his voice suddenly harsh even as tears welled up in his eyes. "Don't you fucking apologize because I knew you well enough to know that you're lying Kate. Besides, I didn't come home for this shit- I just came home to bury my mom."

My eyes began to water as well, the pain in my head and in my heart increasing tenfold at his hurtful words. Jack put down his guitar and stood up slowly, in his hands a bottle of water and a bottle of pills.

I reached out to take them so that I could do it myself but he only knelt down and opened the water for me, tilting it up to my lips. "Drink. Slowly, please or you'll make yourself sick," he murmured before handing me two pills. I took them gratefully and inhaled deeply, letting my eyes close, "Thanks."

I then noticed my state of undress, looking down at my underwear before looking up to glare at Jack.

"I know you don't wear clothes to bed but don't worry; you're not anything special to look at."

"Well aren't you just fucking charming," I said spitefully, taking a small but painful hit to my ego.

Jack smirked and stood, pointing to a where a folded towel and washcloth were sitting on the nightstand, "You should got and get a shower. And tell me where your toothbrush is so I can get it for you- you puked a couple of times last night." I grimaced and clamped my hand over my mouth before doing as he said, pressing my towel securely over my breasts in case I encountered any of my estranged siblings on the way to the bathroom. As I washed my hair and got myself together, I thought about why Jack of all people was helping me. He was, after all, the one who had told me six years ago that he wished that I- the woman that he loved so much- was dead, that if he never had to look at me again that he would be perfectly fine with that. And although I deserved it, it still hurt and having him here caused me as much pain as it did him.

When I went back to the bedroom that Jack and I had shared when we were younger, a cup of black coffee was waiting for me, Jack sitting in the armchair by the window. "So, if I slept here, where did you sleep last night," I asked, Jack thrusting the coffee into my hands.

"On the couch."

"I kicked you out of your room-" He smirked, shaking his head, "If I recall correctly, it was our room."

I swallowed down a gulp of scalding liquid before coughing, Jack sighing and taking it from me. "Jesus Kate, its still fucking boiling. Why didn't you blow on it to cool it off," he asked scathingly, doing it for me. I narrowed my eyes at him and stepped back, "Why the fuck are you helping me?"

Jack paused for a long moment before swallowing, a far off look in his eyes.

"Because that's what mom would want me to do."

He then got up and left the room, leaving me to deal with my own pain.

I reached for my pack of cigarettes, sitting down on the small twin-sized bed as I called home, Trish answering the phone breathlessly. "Hey Katie, you're alive," she said before promptly bursting into laughter. I smiled wryly and shook my head, knowing that absolutely anything could be going on in my house. "I'm guessing you guys are having fun without me."

"Of course not; you're our favorite person in the world," Trish said in a sing-song voice, the music in the background almost deafening. I laughed, "You lying bitch- you must be high." She began to talk in a high-pitched voice, laughter peaking in the background. "I've been sucking helium from balloons all day." I looked at my watch and swallowed, seeing that I only had an hour to get ready. "Well, I'll call back later when I can- the funeral's today," I murmured, Trish going silent.

"We're with you Kate."

My hand drifted to press down on my stomach, feeling comforted by the reflex reaction.

"Always."


	5. The Funeral of Hearts

I stood away from the rest of my pseudo-family as they grieved, seeking solace alone. Besides, everyone here other than Jerry and his wife Camille held the same contempt for me; that much was true with the dirty looks and glances from the scores of people here to pay their final respects.

"My mama lived in this city for a long time and she saw a lot that was terrible here, but she stayed hopeful nonetheless. My mama still believed that things were getting better, sometimes despite all the overwhelming evidence against it. And that's a hard thing to do, but we've got to stay hopeful now even if we can't find a reason to…"

Evelyn Mercer was the sweetest woman on the face of he planet, having taken in her four adopted sons along with hundreds of children from the foster care system and placing them in permanent homes. However, unlike so many others here, I was not one of those children; Evelyn had never placed me, but she also had never adopted me. I had been stuck in limbo for all of my childhood, no longer on the streets but never truly at home with the Mercers.

With I sigh, I moved to drop a white calla lily onto her coffin before staring at Evelyn's headstone.

_Kind friend, beloved mother, cherished grandmother._

I then stalked off to find a place to smoke, away from the many people I had unintentionally scorned. I found a tree and leaned against it as everyone made the short walk from the cemetery to Jerry's house, lighting a cigarette and taking a much needed drag. My hands were shaking and it wasn't from the cold because I should have known better than to come here- I knew he would be here and I should've prepared myself.

But I also should've known that I couldn't quite prepare myself against something like Jack Mercer.

I'd spent the better part of five and a half years thinking of what I would say to him, how I would say it so that it would make everything better. And now all I wanted to do was run and hide every time I met his eyes.

Because if anyone had a right to hate me, it was him.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when a large hand clapped down on my shoulder, looking up at Jerry. "You scared the shit of me," I exclaimed, pressing my hand over my racing heart.

Jerry sighed, rubbing the back of my neck, "Kate-"

"I know Jerry, I know. I have to talk to him sooner or later… but God, he's got me scared shitless. I've hurt him and he's angry; I don't know how to even begin to tell Jack the truth."

"He's been like that ever since you got away, but now I see something in his eyes I haven't seen in years- hope, life. He needs you Katie… and he needs you bad. You had time to run and you did- but now its time to face your fears kid," Jerry replied honestly, dark eyes searching my own. "So put the fucking cigarette out and come inside."

With a shudder I let Jerry steer me across the street towards his house. And before I could even think about bolting, he was already there, cigarette in his mouth and with a pissed off expression written all over his face. His eyes were still as blue as they had been this morning, but somehow colder, harder and filled with the anger he had seemed to hold at bay. Bobby was staring at me from his place at Jack's side, the need to defend and protect his little brother evident in his eyes.I let my eyes flicker briefly from Bobby to Jack, wincing when he refused to meet my eyes.

I was so fed up with this uncomfortable silence that I didn't know what to do, lashing out at him, "Dammit, can't you just talk to me Jack?" His head snapped up so fast that he should've hurt his neck, piercing blue eyes staring through me right to my soul.

"Talk to you? What makes you fucking think that I want to hear a goddamn thing you say right now Kate," Jack asked harshly, his jaw taut.

"Because all I want to do is talk. Please."

Jack took a menacing step towards me, his thin, muscular frame literally shaking with rage, "Look, I fucking helped you out earlier and now I'm done being nice. Don't bother trying to make amends for the past five years now because my mom just died and I don't need this shit from you right now. I don't want to talk to you about anything else and whatever obligation you felt in coming back is fulfilled- she's in the fucking ground, we're done here and now you can go wherever the fuck you ran off to in the first place." I bit down on my bottom lip as my hands balled into fists at my side, gritting my teeth as I tried not to completely flip out. "I did what I had to do Jack. I made my choices and I hurt you and your pain is my fault, so if you want to be pissed off- fine. Just know that I didn't come home to bury her or to hurt you or to be the social pariah because I got out of here even if it meant hurting you. I came back because it was the right thing to do Jack," I replied, angry tears coursing down my face.

He started to say something else before storming away in defeat, disappearing into Jerry's house.

"And things just keep getting better and better…"

I sighed as I turned to where Bobby was glaring, two men coming up the driveway to where we were standing. "Green, well haven't you just grown? What, you're a cop now," I asked, smiling wryly as I brushed at my eyes. He nodded and smiled, "Five years on the squad. Its nice to see you Kate."

"You're a liar just like the rest of them."

The man beside Green cleared his throat and I shifted my eyes towards him, "Who's your friend?"

"This is Detective Jim Fowler; he's my partner."

I nodded and moved back to where Bobby was standing, folding my arms across my chest. Green laughed at the sight of my older brother, "Damn, I ain't seen your face around here in a long time Bobby. Your ma would have been happy you made it back to see her grave." Bobby narrowed his eyes and stiffened beside me, his jaw taut.

"I didn't come home to see her grave."

Fowler smirked, "Thanks for the offer, but we've got it under control."

"When it comes to Detroit, only violence has control," I murmured, walking away.


	6. Comfort In the Strangest of Places

"Help me get him out of the car, will ya?"

I glared at Bobby before climbing out of his beat up piece of shit car and opening the back door. I hefted Jack out of the backseat, Bobby coming around the car to help me. "You know, I drank at least nine beers, did some whiskey shooters and I swear, I'm fucking pissed that I wasted my money. I'm not even feeling this shit," he slurred, looking down at me. I nodded and sighed as we began to climb the front stairs, worried that my heels would slip against the ice. "You'll be feeling it in the morning." Bobby took Jack out of my arms and I opened the door to the porch, narrowing my eyes as I cut the light on. "I like how you miss the funeral and still think you can show your face here," I murmured. Angel scoffed, standing, "You should be the one concerned about showing your face here, not me."

"Hey you two, enough. Its been a hard fucking day for all of us," Jack muttered, actually making sense despite the fact that he was piss drunk. "Kate, open the fucking door- I gotta take a leak. And Angel, you come inside too. I need to catch up with my favorite big brother."

The two older Mercer men exchanged a look, Bobby shaking his head, "Whiskey shooters."

I got the door open and Jack stumbled into the bathroom, Bobby following after him. I shook my head and took off my coat, running my hands down over my simple black lace dress. Angel seemed to truly look at me and his eyes met mine as he sat down on the stairs, "You look good Kate. Better than you did the last time I saw you."

"I know, she's a hot piece, ain't she," Jack grinned, coming down the hallway.

"Its just the whiskey talking."

Bobby was looking at Jack, who was currently swaying on his feet, shaking his head. "Get him to bed Kate. I was going to take ma's room again, but I can sleep on the couch," Bobby said as I kicked off my heels and sighed. I took Jack's hand and helped him up the stairs, taking him to his bedroom and dropping him unceremoniously on the bed. He laughed and groaned from the hard landing, rolling back to look at me.

Realization seemed to dawn on his face, his eyes searching mine, "My mom's dead."

"I know Jackie."

And then the tears began, Jack closing his eyes as he tried not to cry in front of me. I closed the door to keep the others out and sank down onto the bed, cupping Jack's face in my hands and pressing my forehead to his, "Its okay Jack; I'm here…" I held him until the tears stopped flowing, reaching down to take off his shirt and pull it over his head. Jack didn't protest as I then moved to take off his boots, sitting back against the headboard. I watched as he fumbled for his book bag and grabbed it from him, "What do you need Jack? What do I need to get for you?"

"My fucking bag of tobacco and my rolling papers. No, not the tobacco- get my weed." I shook my head as I dug through the bag, fumbling for what Jack asked for. I sat down with him and gave him his stuff, Jack looking at the little baggy, "This is not my weed."

"You ain't getting weed tonight," I replied, dropping his bag and reaching for the rolling papers. "You're alread drunk enough."

I rolled us both a cigarette and pulled out my lighter, Jack taking it from me. "So, I couldn't help but notice how the headstone said 'beloved grandmother'. Broke my fucking heart just reading it," he muttered, lighting his cigarette. I couldn't help the pained look that crossed my face as I lit my own cigarette, shaking my head. "Don't start with me about that Jack; not tonight. I don't have it in me to fight with you."

"Why'd you kill our baby Kate?"

Before I could even reply, Bobby was knocking on the door, "Jack? Kate? You alright in there?"

He walked in and Jack brushed at his eyes, Bobby grinning. "You been crying in here, fairy," he asked, Jack glaring up at our older brother. "Leave me alone man…" We both watched as Bobby sat on the floor and I hesitantly moved to sit beside Jack, the youngest Mercer resting his hand tentatively on my stocking-clad knee. "Since we're not your two favorite people in the world, I highly doubt you came in here just to talk…"

"Too weird in mom's room," I asked quietly, Bobby chuckling.

"Oh man, way too weird. She didn't change nothing in this house."

The silence overwhelmed us for a moment and then Bobby sighed, leaning his head back against the bed frame. "So Kate, what have you been up to in the last six years," he asked, looking up at me. I chuckled and moved away from Jack, his eyes searching mine. I adverted my gaze to Bobby, swallowing before answering, "I'm a fucking college professor Bobby; what do you think I've been doing?"

Both Bobby and Jack laughed, Bobby turning to look at me. "I think you've been sucking a little cock left and right-"

"Oh fuck you!"

We dissolved into a fit of drunken laughter, looking up when Angel came to stand in the door.

Jack threw up his arms and grinned, "Angie! I haven't seen you in forever man- and damn, your teeth are fucking white." Angel rolled his eyes at his younger brother, turning to look at me and Bobby. "Look at y'all, looking like a real family. Never thought we'd be together- especially not underneath these circumstances," Angel murmured, inhaling deeply. I nodded and smoked the last of my cigarette, looking around at the faces in the room. "So what the fuck are we going to do about it?"

"What the fuck can we do about it? We leave it to the police-"

Bobby snorted, shaking his head, "Fuck that shit, Jack- I used to make a good living around here because cops couldn't find titties in a strip joint. Ma's the only person who ever gave a damn and the least we can do is go bang on a few doors and see what happens. We owe her that much." Angel nodded in agreement and I sighed, running my fingers back through my hair. "And we also owe it to mom to keep with the family traditions," Jack murmured, yawning.

"Yeah, Thanksgiving is coming up; I should head home soon…"

"What, you got a wife and kids waiting for you Katie," Bobby asked, smirking when I flicked my cigarette butt at him. "You're staying here; you've gotta cook."

With a sigh of defeat, I nodded, Angel rubbing his brow, "Damn, it got heavy in here fast. I think I'm gonna go out and get some air." Bobby and I exchanged a look before laughing, Jack looking as confused as Angel did. "You're full of shit, man. I bet you can just smell that ass from down the street, huh," he asked, letting his head fall back again. Angel stepped forward in an almost threatening manner, glaring at his brother, "What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean 'what' man? You know exactly what he's talking about with La Vida Loca," I grinned, nudging Jack's leg. He seemed to realize what we were talking about and clamped his hand over his mouth in an attempt not to laugh. Bobby shook his head, turning to look at Angel, "She's probably got a boyfriend by now Angie- its been six years. She's probably got hard dick in her right now, screaming someone else's name and the last thing she's doing is thinking about your black ass. Leave it alone bro."

"Why are y'all coming at me with this same old bullshit? I told you I'm not going to go see that girl, and I'm not," Angel shouted, storming off.

I shook my head and looked down at Bobby, "What's the chances of her being here in the morning?"


	7. The Morning After

I pulled on a tee shirt and a pair of sweatpants, looking around my mother's room. I carefully made the bed before continuing on with my normal morning routine, checking to make sure that everything was how it should've been.

When I opened the door, I could smell breakfast being cooked as well as hear the sounds of arguing.

"We ain't running no homeless shelter," Bobby shouted as I neared the stairs. Sofi- Angel's longtime flame- was blocking my way, going off in Spanish as Angel tried to reason with his older brother. "Why you let him talk to me like that Angel," she asked in that yelling voice that was so annoying familiar.

"Yo, Loco Ono need to pack her shit and hit the road-"

I made my way past them and padded my way into the kitchen, Jack smiling over his shoulder at me.

"Morning. You hungry," he asked.

"Yeah," I replied, curious as to why he was now so cheery. "By any chance, are you still drunk?"

Jack made a face at me, sliding sausages out of the pan and onto a plate. "Why the fuck are you being so damn weird Kate? I just made you breakfast; I mean shit, I did cry in front of you last night…" I reached around Jack and stole a sausage link, sighing. "So are we calling this a truce? Does this mean we're okay," I asked tentatively, my eyes searching his. I bit down on my bottom lip as Jack turned to face me fully, leaning back against the counter. He swallowed and looked out the window at the falling snow, "I'm not sure about the ceasefire Kate. I mean, so much shit got fucked up with us, we made bad choices, said mean things… But I know that I love you; that I never stopped loving you."

My face drained of blood and I felt weak at the knees, shocked at the sudden confession.

"Seriously?"

One corner of his mouth pulled upwards, Jack inflicting his piercing eyes on me. "Seriously."

"You son of a bitch," I said quietly, shaking my head. Jack looked at me incredulously as I stalked off into the living room, protesting. "Shut up and get dressed- you're the only one who will help me cook. We have to go to the store."

* * *

><p>I got out of my old Chevy Impala, thankful that Evelyn had kept it in running condition. Jack did the same and we started into the store, his eyes on my back as I walked ahead.<p>

"Don't stare at me; you know it pisses me off."

Jack sighed and got a cart, following after in through the grocery store. We worked mostly in silence, exchanging a few words over what to get and how much to spend. I looked up at a trio of women around my age when we turned onto an aisle, Jack straightening up when I stopped. "Well damn Jack- I would have thought that after she killed your baby you would've kept your dick in your pants," one of them said. I narrowed my eyes and started to turn away, the women continuing to berate me. "What, are you doing to run off and disappear again Katie?"

"Hey Veronica, fuck you," Jack snapped, my eyes flashing up to meet his. "You're just pissed off that I was fucking her and not you. Mind your own goddamn business or-"

Veronica sneer at him, "Or what, she's going to kill me too?"

I jumped at her but Jack was already there, wrapping his arms around me as he pulled the switchblade off of his hip. "If you think that just because you're a woman I won't fuck you up, think again you harpy bitch. Walk away. Now." Jack dragged me from the aisle, refusing to let me go until I had composed myself.

"I could have taken that bitch," I said as I climbed into the basket.

Jack chuckled, "You would have killed that bitch."

"You know, I hate how people fucking judge me for what I've done. I was seventeen and you were only nineteen Jack; we had no business having a baby. You had such big dreams… and I- we- couldn't take that from you. And I wanted to be a doctor; you know, I'm a fucking trauma resident now and in two years, I'll be an attending. Its why I had to leave- because I would have ruined it all for the both of us."

"I never made anything of my music Kate," he sighed. "The only thing I did make was a lot of racket."

I watched him for a few moments as he began to push the cart, "I loved your racket Jackson Mercer."

"You were the only one…"

We got our things and returned home, Jack helping me get the groceries. As I was working to get the last bag however, he knocked it out of my hand, a determined look on his face as I turned around to yell at him. "What the fuck is your problem-" Jack locked his mouth over mine and pulled my hips towards his so that I could feel him flush against me, his fingers in my belt loops. "You're my problem- you're so goddamn stubborn..." I resisted at first before snaking one arm up and around his neck, threading my hand through his hair to hold his face to mine. I groaned as he pulled away, his lips hovering above mine, "Do you love me Kate?"

My eyes searched his and even as I tried to stay silent, it simply welled up out of me.

"Yes."

I pulled his face to mine again and he began to push me into the back of the car, pushing my heavy jacket back off of my shoulders. "Jack," I panted, my fingers fumbling on the zipper of his coat. I could hear his belt buckle coming loose and reached down to help him, accidentally brushing against him. Jack groaned sharply before yanking on my jeans, the harsh fabric marking my skin from the force.

"Hey!"

We both looked up to where Bobby was standing on the stoop, Jack glaring at his brother as I cursed underneath my breath. I placed my hand on his chest and he sighed before moving off of me, "Fucking asshole." The look on the oldest Mercer's face did not escape me and I swallowed, looking up at Jack.

"Get the fuck in here before somebody sees you two idiots; have a little respect for ma's house," Bobby snapped as I fixed my clothes.

I brushed past him as I tried to go into the house, Bobby grabbing my wrist.

"You're already in too deep. Don't fucking do this to him again Kate or I will kill you."

"I'm not the one who fucked up Bobby…"


	8. Reason

I wrung my hands as I paced in the kitchen, Jack staring at me.

"What's the issue Kate," he asked, his eyes searching mine.

"So I know you know why I left… but you don't know why I stayed away. I struggled for so long with my decision not to come back home, to come back to you. Jack, you are the only fucking thing that throws me off my game and I've got this great life now-"

Jack scoffed and nodded, "I knew it. I knew that this was too fucking good to be true…"

I stopped and turned to look at him, confused. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Bobby's already said it. You've got a husband don't you, a couple of kids- a nice house in the Hamptons?" I raised my hand up to him, staring at my ring finger, "I don't see a ring, do you? Did you really expect me to just pick up? Did you really expect me to just move on like that?"

He stood and shrugged, looking around. "Hell, you left. Just like that… I mean, just don't stand here and lie to my face especially when you got that fucking tattoo on your foot that says 'Cody'. That sure as hell ain't my fucking name," Jack replied as he moved to go into the living room. I followed after him, intent on finishing the argument. "Cody is Patricia Ann Cody- my best friend. She has a tattoo on her foot just like mine that says 'Scott' for Katherine Marie Scott, dumbass. How could you think that I would sit there and be all over you in the car knowing that I have a family at home? Do you think I've become some kind of trifling bitch all of a sudden," I asked, Jack leaning back in his seat on the couch.

Jack sighed and lit a cigarette, "What the fuck ever Kate; I'm done having this same damn argument with you so as far as what happened earlier, it didn't happen."

"Fuck you," I said, looking to where Bobby was grinning. "All of you fucking Mercers are the same."

I went back into the kitchen, hearing someone follow after me- I knew it was Bobby just from how heavy his footsteps were. I continued to prepare our Thanksgiving dinner, ignoring his presence until he spoke. "You don't get to blame him-"

"And you don't get to blame me Bobby," I replied in a hushed tone. "I decided to have an abortion because that was what was best for us. Anything concerning Jack and I and my pregnancy, is between me and him. Nobody but Jack gets to blame me, least of all you, you son of a bitch. You don't get to speak to me like I'm not shit. You don't get to hate me Bobby. You don't get to feel like you lost everything- your girlfriend, your baby- because I was not yours to lose; I was Jack's."

"That's bullshit Kate."

I slid the turkey into the oven and turned to face Bobby, "You can kiss my ass if you think-"

"Shut the fuck up! I'm sick and tired of everyone getting involved where they have no fucking right to be. She's fucking right Bobby- its between us. Get the fuck over yourself and stop arguing with her, alright? Kate's a goddamn Mercer; its useless," Jack muttered, glaring at the TV. I was shocked to hear that he still thought of me as part of the family, but in seeing how much shit we went through together, it was a pretty hard mindset to get out of.

Bobby scowled and glared at Jack, "Fuck you and that big ass meat tenderizer in your tongue."

I heard Jack come off the couch and moved out of the way just in time for Jack to sail into Bobby, the fists flying as the brothers fought. "I'm not fucking gay, you piece of shit," he growled, punching Bobby about the stomach and chest. Bobby landed one right hook to Jack's jaw and he went sprawling, both of them groaning in pain.

"Bobby, go sit in the fucking living room; Jack, get your ass up in this chair."

They did as I told them, Jack struggling to get his tongue ring out even as blood poured down his chin and neck. "Dude, fucking quit, alright; its over. You kicked his ass and you delivered the message. He's not going to say shit else- you proved yourself son," I replied, taking out a can of beer and pressing it to his mouth. He looked up at me and grunted, closing his eyes as I went to go deal with Bobby.

I didn't say anything to him as I handed him a beer, his dark eyes accusing.

"You know, I'd advise you to really keep your mouth shut when it comes to me; you know how Jack is."

"Fuck you Kate," Bobby muttered.

I looked up as Jerry walked in, his eyes falling on us, "What the fuck went on in here?" Angel grinned from the other side of the couch and shook his head, pointing into the kitchen. "Jackie Boy just whooped Bobby's ass-"

"He did not! He may have gotten a few good shots in, but I cold cocked his ass. He'll be feeling that shit soon enough," the oldest Mercer replied, his jaw taut even as he began to drink.

Leaving Bobby with Angel and Jerry, I went back into the kitchen, Jack's mouth swelling impressively as he let the can fall away. "Bobby's a dick," he said with some difficulty, wincing as I dabbed disinfectant on the cut on his chin. I smiled and took the beer from Jack so that I could hold it for him, "And so are you. But thanks for what you said to him… he needed to hear that."

Jack looked up at me, inhaling deeply. "You mean, you needed to hear that."

"I need help setting the table," I said quickly, changing the subject. Jack stood and pushed away the beer can, moving to the cabinet to get a stack of plates. I watched for a moment as he moved around the dining room table, the troubled look on his face painful to see.

I sighed and took the turkey out of the oven, putting it on the platter before carrying it out to the table. "Bird's out," I shouted over the wrestling that was going on between Angel and Jerry and the hockey game blaring in the background. I stuck a carving fork in the turkey before pulling out a knife and turning to where I knew Bobby could see me, "Come eat." They came in and avoided Evelyn's chair, all of us joining hands for grace. "We thank you Lord for bring us all together, thank you for giving us every day… I thank you for allowing us to have Evelyn Mercer, though it was only for a short time; I thank you as well for love and family," Jack mumbled, looking up at me. "Dear Lord bless our food, amen."

"Amen."

I sat down beside Jack, reaching out to the corner where he had decided to carve 'Kate and Jack Forever' into the wood, a permanent reminder of the life we had shared together.

We ate in silence, the only sounds the clinks of the silverware hitting the plates or the occasional cough or clearing of the throat. I noticed that everyone's eyes flickered back and forth between Evelyn's empty chair, Jack's fist tightening beside my hand as he finally let his eyes drift upwards from the table. "Jack," I whispered, breaking whatever spell he was in.

He met my eyes briefly before turning back to his plate, his voice just loud enough for me to hear, "I want my mom."

"Me too."

I took a glance over at Evelyn's chair, the matriarch of our family seeming to appear there before my very eyes. Her hand reached out to mine and I was enveloped by warmth and love and the unmistakable scent of cloves and vanilla- Evelyn's scent.

_Jack is your safe haven, your home. _

_You are home. _

"I don't know what a home is anymore," I breathed, no one seeming to notice.

_Katherine, you're a strong woman- you're a Mercer. _

And then she was gone, my eyes drifting to where Jack sat beside me. He met my gaze and reached over to take my hand, squeezing gently.

Bobby took a look at our clasped hands and stood, "To hell with this. Let's go and get a pickup game- I wanna see some tight sticks and some tight passing." Jerry began to protest, Bobby rolling his eyes as he turned to look at me. "And don't even try that shit about not having your skates- they're in ma's closet."

"Fuck."


	9. To Surrender

I looked at the man in front of me as the puck dropped to the ice, sucking in a breath.

"Game on," Bobby shouted.

I raced forward and caught the puck, fluid in motion as I looked to my left where Angel was. I passed it off to him just as I was slammed into the wall, pushing away the man even as I screamed, "Get it Angie!" The puck hit the back of the net as we scored the first point, Jack skating around me.

"Get off that guy's dick and play!"

With a growl, I raced off after the youngest Mercer child, the mutual anger between us fueling the match. And then as I became the target of the other time- aside from being the smallest player, I was also the best on my team. The Mercers would be hurting without me.

I cried out as I was smashed into the glass by a guy atleast twice my size, my legs going out from underneath me.

Jack was there, pulling the guy from off of me and starting to beat the shit out of him, "You… dick!"

I struggled to catch my breath as pain rippled throughout my chest, knowing from experience that I had at least three seriously bruised- if they weren't broken- ribs. Jerry was helping me up off of the ice as Bobby struggled to separate Jack from the brawl that had broken out, Angel fighting alongside his little brother.

Bobby lifted me up into his arms and my whole torso felt like it was on fire, my hand tightening on his forearm. "Goddamn, that hurt but we gotta finish the game," I groaned, clutching at my chest. He grinned and skated off of the ice, shaking his head at my tenaciousness.

"You are fucking amazing Kate."

* * *

><p>"Fuck you!"<p>

I leaned against the kitchen table as Bobby wrapped my ribs, Jack watching me carefully. He had a bag of ice pressed against his eye from where he was hit in the face, "You went down hard Katie. Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" I took a swig from the bottle of whiskey in front of him before shaking my head, panting. "All I need is the bottle of Vicodin out of my purse and the rest of this whiskey and I'll be fine. I'll just sleep it off," I replied, smiling at him.

When Bobby was done, I pulled my tee shirt on, groaning in pain even as I laughed.

"Alright Jack- its your turn."

"Oh you're going to kill me," Jack said, setting the ice on the table as I began to tend to the gash on his eyebrow. Jack's eyes were intent on my face as I worked, deep and full of something I didn't understand. "Why did you listen to us all those years ago when we told you that you didn't have a choice to play hockey if you were going to be a Mercer," he asked quietly.

I smiled and pulled out a needle and thread, "Because I needed a hobby. And because I wanted to be a Mercer, wanted to be as close as possible to you."

"Oh really?"

"For all my efforts to ignore you, for all my efforts to resist you- for all my efforts to ignore the fact that I loved you Jack Mercer, hockey was the only thing that helped because then it was like none of that mattered except the fact that we were together. Despite how I felt, I couldn't help but to gravitate towards you," I replied, starting to stitch up his face. "It was our thing, wasn't it? All those late nights sneaking out with our skates over our shoulders, your little hand wrapped around mine and this excited smile on your face like I had just given you the world. For me, hockey opened my eyes- I watched that intense look come over your face, watched you psych yourself up and then I followed you as you took off across that ice. You were the most amazing thing to me…"

And then I looked at Jack, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me into his lap. He smiled, his dimples captivating me for just a moment before his lips met mine.

I kissed him, deeply and with a vicious hunger that took me by surprise. "Jack."

I pulled away and ended up with my back against the fridge, blue eyes searching my face. "Mmmhm- no, I can't Jack. I cannot do this with you," I whispered, biting down on my bottom lip.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm going to kiss you again and I shouldn't," I murmured, Jack shaking his head as he stared down at his tattooed arms.

I heard him sigh and waited for him to speak, his eyes taking in the ink upon his skin. "Do you know what this is like for me Kate? What it feels like to be… alive after all that we went through together, after all that I went through alone? What it feels like to have the one person you thought you'd lost forever- the one person you refused to truly live without- walk back into your life and have yourself hope for the first time in six long, painful years?

"Its like having everything that defined you ripped away and then suddenly thrust back at you, but you don't know what to do anymore. Its like being born again and having to learn how to speak, how to walk- how to run all over again. I know I'm not making any sense here, I know," he chuckled, looking up at me sadly.

It scared me the way that Jack seemed like he was being followed around by ghosts every moment of his life and I knew that I was surely one of them.

I swallowed painfully, "I can live with false hope, drag out the inevitable- but I will not surrender to that, to you Jack- not again. I don't know how this mess of emotions and broken hearts and long-forgotten oaths will end, but it will; it always has to. I can do this... but I won't surrender myself to that pain, to that love. Do you understand that?"

"Yes."


	10. Finally At Home

I stepped out of the shower and began to towel off, knowing that Jack was waiting for me.

The understanding that we had come to just hours earlier still seemed abstract and imaginary, despite the fact that I knew he felt exactly the same. We would be together- for now at least- and that was enough. It was more than I deserved, but I was so selfish.

I wanted it.

Wrapping my towel around my body, I stood in the middle of the floor, water pooling around my feet. I pulled my hair up into a knot on the top of my head and stared at my reflection, spending what could have been hours there.

Someone knocked on the door and from the way the hair on the back of my neck rose, it could have only been Jack.

"Kate."

He opened the door in all of his shirtless glory, staring at me from the doorway as our eyes met. After a comfortably awkward silence that only we could have, I turned back to the mirror and sighed, Jack closing the door behind him. I inhaled deeply as he moved behind me, his reflection joining my own. "I remember all those nights when you'd get out of the shower and we'd just… be here, together. Just like we're standing here now, together," I murmured, Jack pulling my hair from its updo. I flinched slightly as he nestled his face in my loose, wet curls, swallowing almost nervously as he inhaled the scent of my skin.

Jack kissed the back of my neck before moving to capture my lips with his own, the kiss much too short and much too brief. He released my mouth so that he could lick between my shoulder blades, sending goose bumps racing up my spine. "Mmmm," I whispered, his long fingers stroking and caressing my shoulders, arms and what he could reach of the back of my thighs. His tongue caressed my flesh in slow, sensuous circles, my skin feeling as if it were on fire with every touch.

I moved to release my towel before Jack's arms wrapped around me, his voice low and husky in my ear.

"Not here," he murmured. "I don't want to do this here Kate."

I kissed him feverishly, backing him into the very door he fumbled behind himself to open. We stumbled across the hallway, Jack's muscular arm around my waist to hold my towel against my body as I moaned at the smoky taste of his mouth. The kiss deepened just as he crossed the threshold into the room we would share, the two of us breaking apart for a moment to gasp and to breathe. I looked up into his eyes, wild and fevered with lust, his lips swollen not unlike my own.

Jack might as well have slammed me into the wall with the way he pushed me back, his kisses hard and insistent. I finally dropped my towel and began working furiously to undo his belt- I needed him naked, needed him inside of me.

Needed him to be a part of me.

Forced into the wall once more, this time with my back to him, I conceded, Jack shifting up behind my prone form. His hands rested on either side of my head even as he pressed me against the wallpaper I had stared at for years, his teeth latching onto my earlobe. I whimpered as he entered me roughly, Jack forcing me onto the tips of my toes and the palm of my hands so that I could keep my balance. He never asked me if I was alright or if it felt good simply because he didn't have to- he knew me well enough that he knew what I like and where all the best spots where. And God, I would have been lying to say that he wasn't hitting every last one.

For all the times that we had made love, Jack had been gentle, giving, loving. But there was no love here now, only raw, pent up emotions- anger, hurt, lust. This was a different side of him I had never seen.

And I craved it.

Arching back against him, Jack moved to grasp one of my breasts in his hand and tightened to keep a firm grip on my body. He kissed my neck and cheek in soft, little butterfly kisses that were much too gentle for the way that we were fucking- there was no there word for what Jack was doing to me. His strokes were both swift and deep, his body pounding into mine with a ferocity unmatched.

"Kate," Jack growled as he suddenly pulled away.

I turned around, instantly annoyed by his sudden movements and the pain that he had caused me, Jack already there to wrap his hands around my thighs. He threw me onto the bed and continued with his maddening pace after he found the right angle and leverage in which to enter me, sweat running down his chest at all of the energy he was using. "Why did you do that," I asked after I struggled to speak, feeling his hand fist in my hair. Jack smiled and bent down to kiss me, inhaling deeply.

"So I could do that."

I raked my nails down his back, Jack arching downwards to brave the stinging pain without missing a beat. Every thrust was harder, faster than the last and I knew that he was going to make sure I couldn't walk for days.

Knotting my fingers in his short hair, I used the other to guide his hips, moving my own in a pace that was self-fulfilling. It wasn't until he glared at me that I released him, smirking and moving to grab a handful of his muscular, albeit extremely white, ass. "Jack," I smiled blissfully, teetering on the edge of pain and pleasure- of self and oblivion- and knowing that I couldn't take much more. He smiled even as he panted before pressing his lips to the place underneath my jaw, Jack whispering the three words that should have been completely off-limits in a situation like this.

I cried out as his thighs and stomach tensed, Jack gritting his teeth, the power behind his thrusts waning as we reached our peak together, his hand reaching up to grasp mine where it had fallen loose from his hair. The room spun but all I could see was him, the waves of pleasure running through my body as I called his name almost too much for me to bear.

It was a few moments longer before Jack fell to his elbows, my chest heaving as he panted almost silently. He eased his body down on top of mine and I began to stroke his back lazily, Jack nuzzling my face.

"Wasn't that enough for one night," I asked almost playfully, knowing that he would disagree.

Jack gave me a look that said it all before he smiled, kissing me deeply. "I'm gonna take a nap, but we ain't finished yet," he yawned, resting his head on my chest.

I wrapped my arm around his neck and stroked the hair at the nape of his neck, humming quietly to him as he looked up at me with heavy-lidded eyes. I hummed until my pulse slowed, feeling the gentle, light rising and falling of his chest against my own, Jack's breath cool across my hypersensitive skin. I sighed contently, closing my eyes, rubbing his shoulder gently.

"Yeah, I'm home."


	11. Of Saints and Sinners

The light from the rising sun filtered into the room through the open blinds, waking me as its warmth spread across my nude body. I yawned and sat up to assess the situation I had put myself in with a increasingly clear head, knowing that Jack was in his usual almost-catatonic sleep.

His back was to me and that in itself was a good sign- when Jack put his guards up, he never turned his back on anyone so as not to make himself vulnerable. I sighed as I looked at the many scars that marred his back and rolled to give them a kiss, knowing and feeling immediately that any sort of movement would be extremely painful.

If Jack had wanted to make an impression, he had succeeded. My thighs were rubbed raw to the point that there were welts and were bruised as well with the muscles so overworked it felt as if I had been running marathons. When I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, all of the muscles in the right side of my back screamed in protest, making me gasp out from how bad it hurt. With a glare over at the man who shared my bed, I stood and hobbled over to my suitcase, pulling out a pair of shorts and a tank top, the thin fabric clinging to my breasts.

I limped downstairs and made myself a bag of ice, sitting down at the table.

An hour or two later Bobby came downstairs, dressed only in his boxers.

"Well, ain't you sexy," I drawled, putting out my cigarette and smirking. He glared at me, his eyes skimming over my bruised thighs and shoulders, "You slept with him last night?"

"Obviously."

Bobby turned his back on me and leaned against the counters, sighing quietly. "What happened to us Kate," he asked quietly.

I bit my bottom lip, staring at the planes of his tattooed back.

I pondered Bobby's question, sifting through the many memories that we had shared. It had only been this family that had held us together for so long, especially when we were both such bullheaded and strong people. There was no way that we could have been…

"Jack happened."

He turned around again and folded his arms over his chest, "I loved you."

"I know," I replied softly, standing gingerly. "And I loved you. God, I loved you Bobby." I walked over to him, kissed him, a passionate but brief kiss, my hands cupping his face. He pulled my hips to his, my body groaning internally from the pressure of his hands on my sore flesh, but I couldn't pull away from him, not yet. "But I loved him more."

Bobby let me go and inhaled deeply before disappearing into the house, going to seek solace in his solitude.

I, however, knew that I needed comfort elsewhere and went upstairs, standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

Jack was already awake, naked and smoking a cigarette as he sat on the edge of the bed. He smiled as he looked up at me, "There you are. Thought you ran out on me again." I winced internally but kept the smile on my face, crossing the room to sit in his lap. "I had to go get some ice. My legs hurt," I replied, Jack looking down and flinching before he laid me back on the bed. I grinned as he began to kiss my thighs, hearing him apologize for every bruise. "Hey Jack? My back hurts too," I mentioned, laughing when Jack turned me over to kiss and massage my shoulders and spine.

"I want to apologize for last night," Jack murmured in his rolling baritone. "That was uncalled for…"

"And it felt great- Jackie, I wouldn't change anything that's happened. It was great sex, amazing sex and I'm dying for more," I replied quietly, looking over my shoulder.

He pursed his lips and let me go, "I don't have a condom."

"That didn't stop you last night."

I rolled over as Jack chuckled, watching him get up and open the door. "We ain't having sex until I go and get some condoms. But if you wanna come and get a shower with me, we can go as soon as we're out," he grinned, looking me over.

I followed him into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

* * *

><p>"He's such a fucking asshole," I grumbled as we pulled up to the Four Roses, the haunt that we Mercers had called our own for many years. I slammed my Impala into park before Jack sighed, stepping out of the car and walking towards the door, "He is a Mercer after of all."<p>

I followed after Jack, taking his hand as we stepped inside of the dimly-lit bar.

The Four Roses had to have been the seediest bar in all of Detroit, full of well-known criminals and their lackeys. As hard as it was to imagine, we were probably the most upstanding citizens to ever enter those four walls- and that was saying a lot.

I weaved through the tables, many eyes falling on me as I made my way to the bar, a man turning around to look at me.

"Dave, nice to see you bro," I said, leaning over the bar to kiss his cheek.

"Missed you Kate, you too Jack. Your, uh, mom had a nice service; would've made Ms. Evelyn real proud," he replied, looking to the man behind me. Jack nodded and looked around, "Where is he Dave?"

I looked to where he pointed in a darkened corner, squinting to search out Bobby's distinct frame through the thick haze of fumes and smoke. Dave sighed, wiping off the counter in front of him before lighting himself a cigarette. "He's been in here since early this afternoon. Since last call is in a few minutes, I thought I should get a hold of you so that Bobby could get a ride home. He looks like he's hurting something bad," the older man replied morosely, Jack turning to look at me evenly.

"You know we're gonna need Angel to get him out of here, right?"

Jack and I waited for the older Mercer to arrive, sipping beers as we debated what to do with Bobby.

My thoughts drifted to Dave, knowing that he had been one of us once upon a time- an unwanted child, a child saved by the loving grace of Evelyn Mercer.

As Angel walked in, I stood, running my fingers through my tumble of waves. "I'm buying you a drink tonight Dave. Pour a round of whiskey and bring it to Bobby's table after the last call- I gotta get him out of here," I murmured, walking over to where the eldest Mercer sat and sitting down beside him. I watched as he smoked a cigarette- something he only did when everything got too much for him- his hand wrapped tightly around a bottle of gin.

"Bobby," I whispered, cupping his cheek and turning his face towards mine. "Look at me."

"I can't."

The others joined us, Dave doling out shot glasses before taking his own. Bobby smirked darkly and took his whiskey, holding it up to us. "Am I supposed to toast to something," he asked in his usual gruff tone, looking around for answers. "Lets toast to Evelyn Mercer, then, the greatest mother four degenerate bastards and one ungrateful bitch every had."

I snorted, turning up my glass, "Here, here."

"So… Dave has info on a witness."

I turned my attention to Angel and our old friend, Jack sighing. "You know if Jeremiah was here, he'd be saying 'Man, I ain't in this. Let the police do their jobs.' He was always the passive one, don't like to argue, all quiet and gentle and shit," he muttered, staring at the bottom of his glass. Bobby poured his gin into Jack's glass, turning to Dave. "What Jerry thinks don't matter- half those suits are dirty and the other half don't give a flying fuck about another convenience store holdup. To all those cops we're just the fucking Mercer bastards with bad reps and long rap sheets; Green was the only one to have ever shown us respect and treated us like normal people. Besides, Jeremiah's a pussy," Bobby replied, his eyes bloodshot.

"He's still a fucking Mercer," I said quietly, chewing on my bottom lip. "And you know mom would have been the very first to forgive whoever killed her Bobby… But, then again, I'm not mom; we can't all be saints."

Jack laughed humorlessly and began to flick his lighter, "Yeah, we can't all be saints."

I turned my attention back to Dave however, interested in what information he had to give. "So," I questioned, tucking my hair behind my ear. He leaned towards me conspiritorally, his voice low and every word laced with venom. "Some gangbanging little fuck was playing basketball across from the store on the night your ma was killed, says he saw two men shooting up the place. I talked to some of my buddies and I got a name for you guys: Andre."

Bobby smirked, nodding once, "That's all I need to know."


	12. Dove

Jack and I laid in bed, his fingers stroking my shoulder as I cuddled up against him.

My mind drifted out of our bedroom and downstairs to where Bobby lay in the living room. Surprisingly, he had left the bar without a fight, silent beside me on the ride home. When Angel and Jack had helped him inside, Bobby had refused to go into mom's bedroom, content to sleep on the uncomfortable couch just to escape the smell of her perfume, the memories that haunted him.

"You know, once he gets his hands on him Bobby'll kill whoever killed mom," I murmured.

"Is that such a bad thing?"

I looked up at Jack even as he scoffed, his blue eyes searching mine carefully. For all that Jack was, he was however not a killer. He didn't have that sort of potential, had not a single murderous bone in his body- yeah, he was dangerous, just as all of us had become growing up in Detroit, but I could never see him taking another life. It just wasn't… Jack.

With a sigh, I rolled onto his chest, "You were the one person I thought would be wholly against this."

"They killed my mom Katie," he replied, sliding up onto the pillows so he could better talk to me.

"I'm not," I started, my voice failing me as tears started to form in my eyes. It hurt to think of Jack becoming like Bobby- even though I loved him, I hated him still. Bobby's soul had twisted and gnarled after the hellish life he had lived and I could see it, I could see everything that he had been through and done clearly in his eyes. I couldn't imagine Jack- and I dreaded that split second where I had thought of him as my Jack- with a soul like Bobby's. I couldn't imagine how his eyes would look after all the upcoming weeks would take us through.

Cold. Evil. Dead.

I didn't want that for him. "I'm not willing to risk your soul for this sort of vengeance Jack. I don't need it if I have to give up who you are to have it. I know its not in my power to keep you from making that choice, to save you from yourself when this takes you… Jack, please. Don't do this," I whispered, his fingers brushing the wisps of hair in my face away.

Jack looked at me sadly before kissing me, pinching my chin between his thumb and forefinger.

"You are not the person I used to know Katherine Scott. Once, you were tenacious where now you are passive to the point you would let your mother's murderer escape without justice; once, you would ache for a fight, for blood where now you wish to protect something so pointless as a soul. I don't know you Kate and that scares me," he murmured in reply, turning away from my anguished gaze.

We laid together like that, my eyes affixed on his flawless face as he stared over my head at my lower back, for what seemed like hours, unable to sleep, but unable to speak anymore.

Eventually, I got out of bed and pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top, sitting on my beat up beanbag as Jack immediately reached for his guitar, playing a tune I had never heard him play before. I looked up and he smiled wryly, "You don't like it."

"I've never heard it before," I replied, lulled by the swinging melody.

He smiled again and continued to play, his fingers dancing over the chords. "Well, I had to come up with some new material sooner or later. Its called 'Flightless Bird, American Mouth'," Jack grinned, eyeing my perplexed expression. "Overlook the name and just listen…"

"I was a quick, wet boy, diving too deep for coins. And all of your streetlight eyes were wide on my plastic toys… And then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair and stole me a dog-eared map. Called for you everywhere," Jack sang in his haunting bass, his eyes closing as the music began to take him. I began to chew on my bottom lip, Jack's falsetto flooding all of my senses, "Have I found you, flightless bird? Jealous, weeping or lost you, American mouth? Big pill looming…" Jack smiled and looked at me as the next verse began, his attention focused solely on me. "Now I'm a fat housecat, nursing my sore blunt tongue. Watching the warm, poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks. Pissing on magazine photos, those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean blood of Christ's mountain stream…

"Have I found you, flightless bird? Grounded, bleeding or lost you, American mouth. Big pull stuck going down…"

I think it surprised him when I burst into tears, Jack laying down his guitar and coming over to where I sat. "Katie, Katie," he whispered, cradling my head to his chest. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, kissing him repeatedly, "I love you Jack Mercer. I love you so much and I hate that you love me back, but I'm so glad you do."

We tumbled to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs, Jack working to get my clothes off before he pinned me down.

"Hold on, hold on…"

His eyes searched mine, his lips parting slightly, "Say it again Kate."

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too."

He took me and I gasped, the tears still flowing albeit without the same intensity that had had before. I kissed him, my hips moving in rhythm with his in a way that was familiar and wholly natural to the two of us. Jack kept a slow pace that was unhurried, allowing us both to savor the other completely. I held his body to my own with a gentle hand, Jack unable to say anything other than that he loved me, that he had missed me.

To him I had returned, like a phoenix from the ashes, to his arms- to him everything would be alright between us, just like it had been all those years ago. And it would be alright because we would be together, happy, safe, content, all of the things that I truly wanted for us in this single moment of time.

But not for long.


	13. Love Letters

I sat beside Jack as we waited to meet with Evelyn's attorney to discuss her last wishes and her will.

"This shit is still so surreal," he murmured, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and pulled him towards me, kissing the top of his spiky hair. "I know Jackie, I know…"

When we finally met the attorney, I ended up sitting between Jack and Bobby, feeling both of them watch me for any sign that I would have a nervous breakdown.I reached out and grabbed Jack's hand, squeezing gently. "I need you," I murmured, Jack nodding.

Quincy Sutton sat across from us behind his large cherry wood desk, his hands folded in front of him. I noticed his carefully coiffed appearance and knew that he was exactly who mom would have chosen to deal with us: we wouldn't embarrass her in front of someone like that. "I take it you are… Evelyn's children: Robert, Jeremiah, Angel, Jackson and Katherine," he said, Bobby nodding in reply. Sutton smiled and nodded sadly, "I must say, your mother made quite the impression upon me despite having met her the one time. And I know its beyond difficult to deal with these mundane financial matters while your hearts still grieve for a loved one; I am truly sorry."

Jack looked up from one of Mr. Lucas's brochures, his eyes far away, "How much do we get?"

"Jackson," I said sharply, Bobby reaching around me to slap his brother in the back of his head. Angel glared at him as Jerry shook his head, rubbing his temples. "Come on Jackie…"

The attorney excused himself, everyone turning to scold Jack.

I understood his reasons for asking that question; money, after all, was a touchy subject for struggling people like us- an emergency room doctor in New York and a musician- but then again, so was our recently deceased mother. "Goddamn it Jack, what the fuck was that babe," I asked almost harshly, tossing an elbow. He looked at us apologetically and I leaned against his side, sighing softly. Jack was still just a kid- we were just lost children…

The attorney returned and set a large metal box in front of us. "This was your mother's safety deposit box. I'll leave you to look through it," Sutton said, half-bowing respectfully. "Thank you sir," Angel replied as he again left the room.

Being the closet to the box, I took a breath and opened it with a shaking hand. There were six envelopes in the box, along with strands of Mardi Gras beads and various mementos from the sixties.

"Shit. I had forgotten that ma was a hippie," I chuckled, taking the five labeled packets into my hands.

"Jack, Bobby, Angel, Jerry… and me." I opened my envelope and sucked in a sharp breath as I looked at Evelyn's familiar scrawl… even the paper smelled like roses; the scent of her hair. _Katherine, if you are reading this, then my time has passed and I am in the kingdom of heaven. Out of all my children, I loved you the most; it is not a fact I deny or am ashamed of. For many years I waited and wondered, so for all of those moments I have missed to tell you I love you, I wish to tell you now: I love you. No matter your choices, your right or your wrongs, I love you my child. Be true to yourself and to those you love for I will be watching- Evelyn. _

Tears stained the paper and I reached up to brush them away, Jack already there. I hid my face in my jacket, shaking my head as I apologized sadly. "Its alright Katie. You know I hate to see you cry baby," he murmured, tucking my hair behind me ear. I looked up from his chest as Bobby reached into the box for the last envelope, sighing. He opened it and set back in his chair, "Shit ma. What the fuck were you thinking?"

I took the packet from him and gasped, pulling out five stacks of money. All of them were thick and seemingly all one-hundred dollar bills, everyone watching with wide eyes as I placed them on the desk in front of us. "Holy shit... this is ma's life savings? Bobby, there has to be almost- what? Twenty-five thousand dollars," I asked, flabbergasted.

"She could've moved out of the hood, stayed safe…"

"You know that wasn't mama," Jerry replied quietly, Bobby passing him a stack of money. He did the same with Angel and I, giving me two stacks instead of one. When Jack frowned, Bobby shrugged, "I don't trust you with cash like this. You'd blow it on something stupid- Kate can watch it for you."

We stood when he did, Bobby looking at his watch and sighing.

"We should go. We've got a date with a dead man tonight."


	14. Knocking on the Devil's Door

We sat in silence as we pulled into the parking lot of an old abandoned warehouse, Jack staring out of his window as Bobby parked beside us. "We're knocking on the Devil's door Jackie and it may not be tonight, but eventually someone's gonna answer," I murmured, seeing his hand tense on the door handle.

"We'll cross that hurdle when we come to it."

I stepped out of the car, Bobby opening the trunk of his beat up Duster and rummaging around.

Angel was already at his side holding a pistol and humming absentmindedly. "I ain't going in without guns," he muttered, holding out a double-barreled shot gun. I got to it before Jack could, Bobby shooting me a grin as the younger Mercer protested. "Wait, what do I get," Jack asked. "I need a gun too."

"You don't get a gun Jackie, but you can get the gas for me. We're gonna have fun tonight," Bobby said, pulling out a large gas tank and handing it to Jack. He looked at me for answers but turned back to his brother when I gave him a blank look, "So what? We're gonna do the fire thing?"

"Yeah we're gonna do the fire thing," Bobby replied mockingly, slamming the trunk closed. "The only fucking thing that scares people more than getting burned alive is getting eaten."

I was mildly nervous that Jack was involved with this whole thing of getting to the bottom of who killed Evelyn, but beyond that I was fully of glee. I wanted to kill. I wanted to throw my entire life away just so that I could exact the justice, the vengeance that I deserved. Evelyn had been the only mother I had ever had and someone had taken her life.

And so I would take theirs.

We entered the decrepit building, Jack using his body to shield me as we made our way through narrow hallways. Music echoed like you would never believe, full of foul language and rolling dance beats- the exact type of music that Jack and I both loathed with every fiber of our beings. "You are over-fucking-protective Jack," I murmured around his massive frame, Bobby glaring over his shoulder at the two of us just as he raised his gun and turned on his flashlight.

"Five-O! Police!"

The kids partying immediately turned and tried to run out, Bobby and Angel yelling at them. I caught a young kid by his chain and slugged him once, pushing him down to the ground as I leveled my gun at his head. "Where the fuck is Andre," I asked menacingly, the kid pointing to a hallway. "He ran that way! Please don't kill me!"

"Jack go get Andre," I said, watching him disappear into the warehouse. I turned my attention back to the kid on the floor, flicking the safety back on the gun, "I'm not going to kill you, you little fuck. I'm going to let you go home to your mom, but if I see you around any of these fucking little delinquents you call friends again, I'll kill you. Stop hanging out with fucking gang bangers and keep your ass in school. Now go!"

The kid got up and scrambled away, Angel shaking his head at me. "You're fucking nuts," he said as we began to walk, Bobby's whistle beckoning.

As I rounded the corner into the little 'living room'- no more than a few couches and recliners- where Bobby and Jack were waiting, I smiled at where a kid was bound and duct taped to a dirty armchair, knowing that we had our man.

Several kids trembled on a couch, unable to run but unsure of what to do.

Bobby and I exchanged a look before he jerked his head towards Jack, "Gas 'em."

I watched with a smile as Jack doused the teenagers in gas, the fumes beginning to sting my eyes even as I pulled out my lighter. I played with it carelessly for a few moments before pulling out my pack of Marlboros, Bobby stuffing Andre's mouth to keep him from blubbering like the idiot he was.

"So Andre, let's have a little chat. Three weeks ago tonight, the kindest woman in the world was murdered in cold blood by someone stupid enough to think we won't find them. Big fucking mistake number one. You and another of your boys were supposedly playing ball. For you, that's big fucking mistake number two. You lie to me tonight and that's big fucking mistake number three Andre- and that's game over. Now you're going to tell me exactly what I want to fucking hear Andre: who fucking did it," Bobby asked menacingly.

Despite the terror in the kid's eyes, he still seemed unwilling to talk, his gaze flickering between Bobby's intimidating expression and my nonchalant attitude.

"Either that or I'm gonna light you on fucking fire and watch you run around like a chicken with your head cut off, lighting all your little friends ablaze," I said, blowing out a thin stream of smoke. "I could care less."

Bobby smacked him in the head and snatched the rag out of his mouth, "Is that what you want?"

"No."

Angel moved around behind the kid, pressing the barrel of his gun to the back of his head. "Speak," he murmured, Andre freezing immediately. Bobby cocked his Beretta as well, the kid's fear taking him over, "That shit was as counterfeit as a motherfuck! Won't nobody playing ball when that old lady was killed!"

"Then what the fuck happened the night they killed my mom," Jack asked quietly.

"They weren't killed until eleven! They turn the court lights out at ten," Andre shouted.

We all looked at each other and I sighed, "I fucking hate babysitting…"

"Get him up."

"Come on Andre. We're going on a field trip," Jack smirked, snatching the kid out of the chair.

* * *

><p>We stood in the street, looking at the basketball courts. My eyes kept drifting back and forth to the convenience store where the shooting had taken place. It looked as if nothing had ever happened, as if God's only sovereign angel on this earth had not been killed there.<p>

They'd taken the police tape down.

Bobby checked his watch impatiently, turning to face Jack and I. I had the gun trained on Andre, Jack holding him by the neck as he waited for instructions. "Goddamn it Andre, its ten-oh-five and these fucking lights are still on. Jack, put him on the ground," Bobby said sharply.

Jack forced him to his knees as I raised Bobby's Beretta, Andre starting to sob. He was still trying to reason with us as I took the safety off of the gun and pressed it to his temple. "No don't kill me. Please don't! They're gonna turn off, they're gonna turn off," he screamed, pointing at the lights.

"Shoot. Him," Jack growled.

My finger began to tighten on the trigger as the lights shut off, Andre sobbing in relief.

I eased my finger up, letting the gun fall at my side as I took a step back away from the boy at my feet. "This is going to be harder than I thought…"


	15. Running from the Truth

I yawned as I walked into the house, kicking off my boots and hanging my jacket on the hook.

Jack walked upstairs, passing Sofi who immediately grabbed Angel and pulled him upstairs after her as they both giggled. I waited for Bobby, seeing the dark look in his eyes, "What's wrong?"

"What's right anymore," he growled out. "Nothing makes sense anymore."

"Bobby, she's gone-"

He shook his head and looked at me, "I'm not talking about her being gone. I'm talking about… how she went- that's a fucking questionable kill." I pondered that for a moment, trying to figure out what he was getting at before he sighed. "Boy, it's sad you growing up without a daddy Kate. Nobody taught you anything, did they? Maybe I should've stayed around longer and held your little hand, huh sweetheart?"

I stalked off into the kitchen at his words, fuming internally. "Maybe you should have…"

"What I mean is sometimes pros will cover up their shots with another crime like a burglary for instance, then they pay a witness to throw the cops onto the wrong suspect," Bobby replied seriously now, looking at me when I sat down at the table.

I held my head in my hands, unable to speak for a moment, "I don't understand it! Why would anybody wanna kill the sweetest woman in the goddamn world?"

Bobby swallowed and propped himself up against the wall, closing his eyes.

"I don't know Katie. I just don't know."

I shook my head and pressed my fingers to my lips, inhaling deeply.

"Its time for me to go home," I whispered, Bobby opening his eyes to look at me. I winced at the severe expression, sniffling self-consciously. "I have a life there- waiting for me. I've done so much good and I don't want to risk it for doing something like this. Tonight, when we went in that warehouse, I was ready to kill in her name but Bobby- ma wouldn't want that. And Jack… you know what this'll do to him because the same thing was done to you. Its cold, I know, but I don't want him to be like you. I see what you've become to survive, I see in your eyes that before whatever happened to you when you were little, you were a good boy. You lost yourself and if you let him do this, you'll lose Jack too. And I've already lost you both once… I don't think I can do it again."

"Kate-"

I held my hand up to him, "No, I want to kill the asshole or assholes as much as you do. We both know that even with Green, the cops aren't going to give a fuck about another convenience store hold up gone wrong! But Jack doesn't need to be involved in shit like this.

"It'll kill him."

"Stop worrying about me," a soft voice came.

We both looked to where Jack was standing just past the doorway, his eyes trained on my face. "You don't get to make decisions for me, even though you always have. Kate, I know what I'm doing and I know the consequences of doing it. I'm not that fragile little boy that walked into this house when we were kids-"

I heard the chime of my phone and started after it, Jack already at the door.

"No, don't!"

Jack rolled his eyes as he answered my cell phone, "Hello?"

The tiny voice that responded to the deep rolling bass that was Jack's, might as well been a roar in my ears as I heard it from where I stood, frozen in front of him.

"Mommy?"

I watched as the phone clattered from Jack's hand, falling into pieces as it hit the floor at his feet. The tide of emotions washing over Jack were palpable, obvious in his conflicted expression. "Jack," I whispered, reaching out to him.

"You lied to me Kate. You said that you didn't-" And then Jack was punching a hole in the wall, Bobby shouting for him to stop as I struggled to get a hold of him. "You killed our fucking baby! And then you went out and had another one with some son of a bitch- that's supposed to be my kid!"

"He is Jack!"

It seemed like the whole world stopped as I uttered those fateful words, Jack panting as he struggled to comprehend what I had just said. His eyes searched mine, swallowing painfully, "Wha- what? What the fuck did you just say to me?"

"He's your son," I answered meekly. "They both are. I had your sons five years ago."

"My sons," he murmured slowly, his eyes a million miles away.

I saw that over his shoulder, Bobby was glaring at me, but there was something else in his expression as well- and it frightened me. I however, was more focused on Jack, who was currently looking like he was on the verge of passing out as he leaned against the wall for support. "I never had the abortion Jackie- I went to the clinic, yeah, but I couldn't bring myself to go through with it… to kill our baby, well babies, not when they were a part of you. Even then- babe, I knew you had such big dreams! I couldn't take that away from you and so, I took us out of the equation, gave you the life you wanted. It had always been so tough for you Jack. I thought that I could bear the burden for you then," I said, tears streaming down my face.

He looked up at me coldly, his hands in fists at his sides.

"The burden," Jack asked quietly, taking a step towards me. "You didn't bear anything for me Kate, much less my burdens. You didn't bear the agony that living without you brought, the pain that knowing- well, thinking- that my kid was… dead caused me. No Kate, there was no burden that you took from me. You only took my future. You only took my life."

I cowered back as Jack towered over me, knowing that he was beyond capable of hurting me.

Jack's voice was menacing as he spoke next, "You only took my future."

I ducked before the first blow, Jack launching into a tirade that ripped at my very soul. There was nothing I could do and that much I knew- he would hate me because he had every reason to. "Get the fuck out Kate," he screamed, tearing at his hair before turning to flip over the small table in the hallway where we stood.

I wouldn't deny him anything, not now.

And so I ran, fleeing all of the damage that I had done.

It was what I was best at.


	16. To Pay the Pied Piper

I sat in the park against a massive oak tree right in the middle of it all, glad that it had remained untouched through the years that I had been gone. Eager to keep myself from thinking, I smoked until I was out of cigarettes, unable to do anything else to occupy my mind.

Without a choice, I began reflecting on my life.

My boys.

Jack.

"Well you just never change, do you," a deep voiced asked out of the darkness. "This was your spot."

With a smirk, he came into my field of vision and I moved over, knowing that I had no choice but to talk to him.

"No, it was our spot. Mine and Jack's as noted by that big ass pocketknife carving in the trunk. He insisted on that, said it would be a permanent reminder of how much we loved each other. As if I could ever forget," I replied, looking up as Bobby came to sit beside me. I sighed and rubbed my hands together for warmth, inhaling deeply. "So go on Mercer, get it over with. Tell me how much of a bitch I am. Tell me how wrong I was for taking the boys and running and taking that life away from Jack."

Bobby sighed as well, reaching out to place his hand over my own, "Kid, I think you already know that."

I shook my head, swallowing as new tears came to my eyes. "It was only for Jack that I… did what I did all those years ago. It was for him, not for me or for the twins- to give him that chance to have his dream."

"But Kate, you know would have rather had you. Them. His family."

The images of my young sons flashed in my mind and I closed my eyes, " I know he would've."

He squeezed my hand gently before leaning against me, silent for a few moments.

"Babe, do you remember exactly why I left," Bobby asked quietly, my eyes opening at the question. It seemed odd for him at question my memory- I would never be able to forget why he had left, not when it had truly been the catalyst behind my own flight. I nodded, my eyes searching his before turning downwards, "You left… because of me."

"No, I left because you chose Jack. And it pisses me off because then you threw that whole life you choice- with him- away, because I know that I would have loved you. I would have taken care of you and the… kids. Would have married you."

I pulled my hand out of Bobby's, wrapping my arms around my knees as I pulled them to my chest.

This was too much.

Everything that I had kept buried inside of me for so long came rushing back, as if Bobby had released the floodgates. The memories of the sight were painful enough, but the memory of the feelings and all of the emotions- knowing that it was wrong, that I loved him as much as he loved me- were so much worse…

_I stared at Bobby across the table, the feelings welling up inside of me very wrong, but oh-so right. My hands balled into fists in my lap as my resolve finally strengthened and I made up my mind. I couldn't deny it anymore._

_I couldn't deny _him.

_Bobby looked up and our eyes locked, his betrayer's heart willing and my traitorous body thankful. I stood up out of my chair and he was already there, holding me tightly as if he owned me even though we both knew I belonged to another- his brother. _

_It was a sin in every sense of the word. _

_But I was not born to be a saint. _

"They could be my kids too, couldn't they?"

Disturbed by what he was implying, I turned to him, swallowing. "No, there's no chance of that. Because with you, I made you wear condoms. Jack never had to," I murmured, staring out into the darkness that was Detroit.

"Condoms break. He should still know that the chance is there," Bobby replied. "He deserves to know."

"We're the last ones to discuss anything about what Jack deserves, Bobby Mercer. He deserved to see his sons grow inside of me, to see them take their first breaths.. To hold their hands as they took their first steps, to teach them how to ride a bike or play ball. Yes, he deserved it all but in being selfless I was selfish and I took that from him-"

Bobby sighed loudly, "Some of that blame is mine too Kate. You never would have left had I not shown you the way."

I stood and dropped the cigarette butt I had kept in my fingers, stalking off into the dark.

"You don't get to take the blame to make yourself feel better about what we did, you don't get to have that. Hurting Jack- killing him? That's my sin Bobby."

* * *

><p>When we got back to the house all of my things were in the hallway, the ever-present noises of very loud sex coming out of Angel's room next door. Bobby helped me get my things into Evelyn's room, insisting that he take his old bedroom instead.<p>

After I had taken my shower, I stood naked in front of her full-length mirror, looking at who I had become.

Those nine months of carrying my boys had changed my body in the softest and most natural of ways, leaving me wholly feminine, motherly. There was no denying the fact that this body had carried life, not when I carried myself in the manner that I did. And then the years of single parenthood- though blessed and wonderful- had taken a toll on me, as was evident in my eyes. They weren't lifeless or anything like that, just… tired.

Tired of doing it by myself, tired of living a lie- Jerry had been right; it was time to grow up.

Well, at least the hardest part was over now. Jack just needed some time and he would have it, I owed him that and so much more. If he didn't want to talk to me, fine. If he didn't want anything to do with me, okay. It wasn't about us anymore, not when it was so much bigger than Jack or Kate.

It was Ethan and Liam.


	17. The Hunt

I woke up in the morning and got dressed, finding my now-repaired cell phone in front of the door.

Looking around for Jack, I sighed and picked it up, turning it on. There were at least two dozen missed phone calls from Trish and the boys; I knew that after the line had gone dead that she would be worried about my safety. She knew- from my many stories- that Jack could be as dangerous as the rest of them.

"Trish?"

"Kate," she screamed out, seeming to sob on the other end of the phone. "Oh my God, I thought…"

I shook my head and swallowed, "He knows Trish."

There was silence for what seemed like hours, my friend seeming at a loss for words- something that I had never been able to say about her. "He- he won't take them away from us, will he? Kate, tell me he doesn't want to take Ethan and Liam!"

"No, he hasn't even said anything about them. I don't even know what he's thinking," I murmured.

Trish sniffled, the sounds of my sons in the background. "Look, I can't talk to the boys right now or I'm gonna break down and I don't need that right now. I gotta stay focused… I'm trying to get home as soon as I can, but there's some things I have to take care of first. Give them my love," I asked quietly, hearing the slamming of cabinets downstairs.

"I will Kate."

"And I love you too sis," I said, knowing that it would put a smile on her face.

"Love you more."

I walked down the stairs slowly, giving myself time to prepare to talk to Jack.

He glared at me over his shoulder when I moved into the kitchen, his bloodshot eyes the only evidence that he had been crying all night. "Why the fuck are you still here Kate? There's a reason I left your shit in the hallway," Jack muttered, making himself a bowl of cereal.

I shook my head and took a step towards him, "I ain't leaving again. Not like this."

"Kate, you took my sons," Jack said, the agony evident in his voice. "When I found out you were pregnant, I was expecting to have a girl and that's all I ever wanted from you: my daughter. And then you disappear after you telling me that you had an abortion? What am I supposed to think now that you're saying that you had my sons?"

"I did."

Jack shook his head, taking his cereal and sitting at the table, "Well, even if they are mine, its been five years and they've made it this far without a… dad so I think they'll be alright. We should still go to court though, get the paternity tests done and get you some child support. I'm gonna take care of them but you can't expect me to be some kind of father. Its too much for me to handle, too much to deal with right now. Beside, I'm not about to put up with you for the next thirteen years like this…"

"So you're saying that you want nothing to do with any of us," I asked quietly.

He nodded and I sighed, shaking my head.

Angel came into the kitchen, looking between both of us, "Bobby just told me. Is it… is it true?"

"I got twins bro, two little boys. That shit's crazy, ain't it," Jack questioned, chuckling humorlessly. Angel turned to look at me, swallowing nervously. "Its why you left," he asked, shaking his head when I nodded. "Damn…"

"I had to do it," I replied. "I only wish that you could see that Jack."

He stood up and dumped his bowl in the sink, lighting a cigarette as he kicked the back door open. "Go away, you heartless bitch," Jack sighed, disappearing into the cold. I held my head in my hands, trying to keep myself from sobbing uncontrollably.

Angel just looked at me.

* * *

><p>I got out of Jerry's Volvo in front of the convenience store where mom was killed, waiting for the others to arrive in Bobby's car.<p>

"Jack found out about the boys last night."

Jerry turned to look at me, "What do you mean, found out? You didn't tell him Kate?"

"I didn't have the chance. He answered my phone," I replied, lighting a cigarette. I smoked as Jerry stared at me, my older brother swallowing painfully. "How did he take it," he asked, wincing when I laughed. "Jack flipped the fuck out on me, like literally lost his mind- Jerry, he almost hit me; he ain't never done that before. He don't want anything to do with them from how he's acting, hell, he practically said it. But maybe he just needs some time… Jerry, I always wanted my kids to have a dad and yeah its late, but there's still time if only just a little. I want my family," I murmured, brushing at the tears in my eyes.

Bobby's Impala pulled up and parked on the curb, Jack stepping out in his usual leather jacket. He wore sunglasses as well despite there being a constant overcast- it was his safety mechanism.

Angel walked around and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, leaning into kiss my cheek. "You alright baby girl," he asked in a low voice.

I nodded and he rubbed my shoulders, sighing as we walked into the store. The owner was behind the counter, looking up nervously as we approached. "Excuse me, I'm Bobby Mercer and I just wanted to know if I could have a minute of your time. My mother was Evelyn Mercer-"

"Oh yes, yes. I liked your mother very much- she was a great lady," the man replied nicely.

"Can we see the tape?"

* * *

><p>I watched as the two gunmen entered the store, ma cowering behind the shelves as they shot the clerk and cleaned out the cash register. "This doesn't add up, they already have the money," Bobby murmured, Jack pressing his fist to his mouth. The gunman stalked around the store looking for Evelyn and when they found her, she stood, facing her death like I knew she would.<p>

The words were clear on her lips as she spoke her final words: May God forgive your souls.

I looked away at the final shot, turning into Bobby's chest being that he was the closest one. His arms came around me and I cried into his shirt, his hands smoothing down my hair. We stayed that way for some time, Bobby holding me tightly as I tried to keep the sobs at bay. "They said there were witnesses," Bobby asked through my curls.

"Yes, the police talked to one boy more than the others," the man replied. "He's tall, African-American, wears shorts, never a jacket even with rain or snow, has an afro. He comes in and gets Gatorade after the games over at the gym."

"Thank you."

We walked out and I moved away from them, needing to compose myself. I paced even I watched as Bobby dove into his trunk, undoubtedly to retrieve his guns. He then looked over at me to make sure I was alright before looking at his brothers, "You know that robbery was bullshit, that wasn't no gang shooting- that was an execution. They set mom up. They set her up!"

By that time we were running across the street to the recreation center adjacent to the basketball courts, Bobby passing me the shotgun that felt so right in my hands. "What's the plan Bobby," I asked breathlessly as we walked into the gym.

"We're winging it Kate."

Jerry sighed heavily, "We always wing it Bobby."

"Mom always said, 'as bright as Bobby is, he just don't like to think'. We're gonna get killed," Jack agreed in a monotone, looking around at all of the various criminals we used to associate with.

Angel glared up at his little brother, defiant to the very end, "What you mean we, white boy?"


	18. Violence

I cocked the gun and led Bobby onto the court, people shouting and yelling. One thing you didn't do in Detroit other than interrupt a football game was fuck with basketball. Bobby snatched the ball from whoever was holding it and began dribbling, taunting the people. "What? I got this rock now, I got this motherfucker now," Bobby teased, looking that guys surrounding us. One got into his face and shoved him back, Bobby and I both pulling our guns on him. "Hey asshole, you don't wanna do that again," I said, turning in a circle to make the men back up.

"So, my name is Bobby Mercer, although most of you should already know that. Many of you should also know Evelyn Mercer, my mother. She was the woman killed across the street a few weeks ago, sixty-two years old and murdered in cold blood. I need to find a man the police talked to: big guy, ball player, afro. Does any of that ring a bell?"

I looked over my shoulder to see that Jack disappear, having seen something that had escaped me.

Bobby was still arguing with the people, their ball officially a hostage, "Look, you just tell me where the fuck I can find this guy and I'll let you finish your game! All I wanna do is talk to the guy." Someone tried to walk up on him and I swung the gun around, pointing it at the guy.

"Back the fuck off!"

"Kate," Jack shouted, waving his arms at me and smiling. I grinned and turned to Bobby, "We got something."

Bobby turned to the booing crowd and began to thank them, people cussing at him. "Thank you everyone, you've all been outstanding citizens and I appreciate your help very much. Enjoy the rest of your game," he said, tossing the ball over his shoulder as he tucked his gun into the back of his jeans.

I followed Jack to a back hallway, Angel and Jerry holding onto a kid that looked scared out of his mind.

It was evident from first glance that he wasn't our guy, but he obviously had something to do with it.

I turned to Angel, "What do we have here?"

"Kate, Bobby, this is Keenon. Keenon meet Bobby and Kate. Something tells me he was on his way to deliver a warning to someone that we're coming. Keenon looked at both of us, swallowing nervously as Bobby began to speak.

"Who is he?"

Keenon trembled slightly, his hand tightening on the strap of his book bag, "Damien.. he's my brother."

Bobby looked around as if he were confused before turning back to Keenon, chuckling. "He's your brother? No shit, these are my brothers and for all intents and purposes… my fucking sister," he replied, the kid shaking his head. "Nah dog, my real brother," Keenon said, sounding confused as Bobby nodded. "Yeah and these are my real brothers. This is Angel, Jack, I'm Bobby and this is Jeremiah. And she's Kate," he said, his eyes lingering on me for the fraction of a second longer than they should have. Bobby cleared his throat and rested a hand on Keenon's shoulder, "So how about you and Damien? You two close or something? Does he live at home with you?"

"Yeah but I ain't telling you shit else."

Angel smirked and nodded, "I wouldn't sell out my brothers either."

Jerry took the kid's book bag and tossed it to Jack, Bobby trying to keep Keenon talking. "We just wanna ask him a few questions, talk to him. Is he gonna cooperate with us," Bobby asked as Keenon scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I got something," Jerry said, reading from a paper that Jack gave him. "He lives in the Gardens."

I looked at where he pointed out of the window, Jerry smiling, "Right there."

* * *

><p>I sat in the backseat of Bobby's Impala, pushed up against the window beside Jerry and Jack. Angel and Bobby sat in the front seat, talking quietly about how to get information out of Damien when the time came.<p>

My phone began to ring and I silenced it, Jack looking over at me before staring out of the window.

He began to him as Jerry sighed, leaning forward into the front seat. "Hey, let me out Angel. I gotta go to gymnastics," he said, the two Mercers exchanging a look and laughing. "Oh, you gonna get you on some fucking leggings on sexy? You should take Cracker Jack and Kate with you- they got twins. One of them's bound to be flexible," Bobby chuckled, even thought I knew he found no humor in the situation whatsoever.

"Bobby you're the one who took ballet…"

Jerry got out and I felt awkward being so close to Jack, but I put it in the back of my mind for the time.

"Hey. Hey, Bobby? Bobby," Jack shouted, slapping the window like he was nuts. "It's him!"

Adrenaline started to pump through my veins as we scrambled out of the car, Bobby tossing me the pistols. We spotted Damien, Bobby pulling out his gun, "Hey Damien? You Damien?" He took one look at us and started to run, dropping his things. I shot twice, hitting the bricks right beside his head, "I fucking missed."

In the lobby of the apartment, we stood, Angel pounding on the doors of the elevator. "Bobby, why are you always pulling out guns and shit," he asked, looking at me.

"Come with me," I said to Bobby, looking at the stairs. "Jack, stay here and tell us when it stops!"

We took the stairs two at a time, looking down as Jack yelled up the stairs. "Six! He stopped at six," he said, Bobby and I running faster. "Get that motherfucker!"

I opened the door to see Damien hanging out of his door, Bobby reaching over my shoulder to aim.

"Hey, we just want to ask you some questions," I shouted.

Damien grinned and holding two massive rottweilers at bay, said, "Its alright. I got something for your ass." Bobby moved so that I was behind him, taking the full brunt of the dog attack. I got his gun and attempted to shoot the dogs, Damien shouting for me not to. It was then that Angel reached us, both of us attempting to get the rotts off of us as I screamed out for him.

"Angel help!"

He ran back through the stairwell and returned with a fire extinguisher, spraying the dogs. One was latched to Bobby's arm and so he didn't have a chance to cover his eyes, the chemicals being sprayed across the both of us. I pulled the older Mercer to his feet as fast as I could, Angel and I pulling him into the apartment that Damien had disappeared into. Angel slammed the door as Bobby began to scream about his eyes, rubbing them to try and get the chemicals out.

"Here Bobby, put this in your eyes," I said, handing him a cup of water and a dishcloth.

I looked around the apartment before looking at the open window, narrowing my eyes.

Damien was scaling down the side of the building on a rope, looking more than a little nervous. "We just wanted to talk Damien," I yelled, handing out of the window. He raised something up from his side and I realized almost belatedly that it was a gun, Damien firing off at least three shots.

"Kate!"

Bobby came out of the kitchen, brandishing a knife angrily, "I'm not fucking with this kid anymore!"

He severed the rope in one hit and we watched as he hit the snow with a thud, Angel and I hanging out of the window. "You think he's dead," he asked, looking over at me. Bobby smirked, looking over my shoulder down at Damien.

"Nah, he ain't dead, just really fucked up. Let's go talk to him now."


	19. Fighting Fire with Fire

I shivered as I walked towards Damien, knowing that he was seriously injured.

When we stood over him, I could see the fractured bones of his legs sticking out of his skin, Jack chuckling.

"Man, you must be cold. Nasty fall, huh?"

Damien clutched at one of his legs, looking up at me, "Call an ambulance man."

"What? For my dog bites," Bobby asked, looking at the blood running down his forearm. "Nah, I'll be fine, but thanks for the concern."

Angel stood over him, still holding his pistol, "Who shot up the store on the corner of 45th and West Avenue?" Damien cried out, looking like he was going into shock- he must have been freezing. "I can't tell y'all! They'll kill me," he said through his teeth, his eyes rolling back in his head just a bit. "Either way, you're gonna die because you won't make it far on those mangled ass legs and I ain't calling you an ambulance. Turn into a fucking fudgesicle," I snapped, stomping away.

The guys caught up to me and I glared over my shoulder, "You think he's gonna crack?"

"Hell yeah he's gonna crack," Bobby replied gruffly. "With those fucking Chinese spareribs hanging out of his legs, he either talks to us or he dies out here. Ain't nobody going to hear him over this wind." I reached down and grabbed at the dog bites on my thigh and calf, enraged, "I'm gonna back up there and kill those fucking dogs."

Bobby looked up to see Jack looking at Damian, pushing his brother. "Turn around dick lips! What the fuck are you looking at kid," he snapped, Jack whirling around and scowling at all of us.

"I'm not fucking gay Bobby! I'm sick of you bitching about my 'meat tenderizing tongue ring or how I don't have a girlfriend. Fuck you Angel and fuck you Bobby… the only meat I'm tenderizing is some sweet all-American **pussy **so you can-" Jack started, fuming as he stared his brother down. "Look, _stop_ picking on Jack, alright? He is definitely not gay and I can attest to that- I was fucking him on a regular basis if you don't recall. Now let's get back to the task at hand with this fucker laying on the ground bleeding to death, okay," I asked harshly, Bobby grumbling in agreement.

"Okay, okay! I'll tell you," Damian shouted- he'd finally cracked.

We walked back over and looked down at him, waiting for him to speak. "He's a man with a braided goatee."

"Alright, I'll call that ambulance soon," Bobby said, stomping away towards the car. I smiled and followed after him, Damian still crying out as we left him in the ice, "Aah! My leg!" I turned around to see Jack kick him in the leg, shouting for him to get into the Impala.

Damian stopped screaming.

* * *

><p>We sat in the car as we reloaded our guns, Bobby grunting in pain.<p>

"Here- I got some pain meds from where I forged my prescription after I busted my nose," I murmured after awhile of listening to him suffer, digging through my purse. I found my bottle of percs, shook two out and handed them to Bobby, his eyes searching mine.

"Thanks," he muttered, sighing heavily.

Jack looked over at me and swallowed, "How's your leg?"

"Its fine," I replied, even though my muscles felt like they were on fire. Jack smirked and shook his head, reaching over to touch my knee. "You're lying to me Kate," he said quietly, leaning against me. I dug in my pocket for my cell phone and pulled it out, Jack seeming to stiffen slightly. I pulled up a picture of a little dark-haired boy with a Mohawk, his hazel eyes clear and lively. "This is your son Ethan James. I think he looks just like you- other than the hair, of course- but he loves to play the drums and he loves his toy motorcycle," I smiled, Jack taking my phone. "Oh wow."

I hit a button and it changed to a new photo of a child that could have been the same as before had it not been for his long, layered haircut. "And this is Liam Stephen. He plays his little guitar like a pro and insists on having his hair long, just like his daddy would like it…"

Jack continued through the album on my phone, amazed at the two little humans that were undoubtedly his.

"Where are they?"

I looked off into the distance, "Syracuse. New York."

"That's a good place to raise kids, yeah," Jack asked, trying not to sound concerned. I smiled and nodded, Jack doing the same. "I'm glad."

"Kate, I need you to go inside and case the place," Bobby said, interrupting our conversation. I nodded and leaned over to kiss Jack's cheek, feeling him flinch before accepting the gesture.

I climbed out of the car and entered the bar, looking around as if I was searching for someone.

Everyone tried to eye me slyly as I ordered my drink, checking out the hot piece of ass that had come to the door. I sat down at the bar and waited for someone to come up, hoping that it would be just the one that I was looking for.

"Hey honey."

With a smile, I looked up and greeted the man with a braided goatee.

"Hello."

I pulled the pistol off of my hip just as he kicked the stool out from underneath me, knocking me off balance. The shot went astray and the man fired back at me, his eyes enraged as I dodged it easily.

I was happy to know that the guys hadn't left me to fend for myself, the Mercers rushing in to back me up. I began to chase the man who had shot at me, growling indignantly as I struggled to catch him. Jack was the closest to me and in being who he was, shoved me back, running out of the door when the gunman had escaped with the shotgun raised. I threw a look over my shoulder to Bobby and Angel, seeing them in a fight with a bar patron.

They could take care of themselves. Jack was a completely different story…

I burst out of the bar's back door, seeing Jack firing at the car speeding away. He blew out their back window and I gawked at him, surprised at how good of a shot he had become. "Damn, get 'em Jackie O," I said breathlessly.

"I fucking missed."

Bobby caught up to us, slapping Jack's shoulder proudly," You go girl!"

I looked around for Angel, smiling when the Impala careened around the corner.

We sped off after the other car when Bobby had shoved Angel into the passenger seat, Jack and I checking the guns. "There's two fucking gunmen in the car," Jack muttered before tossing down the shotgun. "And now we're out of ammo."

I was almost surprised when Jack leaned over and pulled my seatbelt across me, his lips firm against mine. "I know you'll fucking complain, but I need you safe Kate," he murmured before turning around to see if he could get into the trunk.

"Jack, sit the fuck down," Bobby said sharply, staring at us in the rearview mirror.

I felt the car swerving out of control, Bobby fumbling around as we fishtailed across the ice. "Bobby!"

"Shut up Kate! We don't have any fucking traction- what do you want me to do?"

"Jam that goddamn steering wheel," I seethed, feeling the car roar in protest as he did just as I said. I grabbed Jack's hand and laced my fingers through his, Bobby looking over at Angel. "Stick that cannon out of the window and get their asses," he said, Angel checking his gun.

I held my breath as he looked back at me, "How many rounds?"

"One."

Angel moved and hung out the window, the wind and snow blowing past the car at a frightening velocity. I shook my head and jerked off my seatbelt, looking at Angel. "Give me the gun Angie," I whispered, Bobby and Jack both looking at me.

I rolled down my window and sat on the door, Jack wrapping his arms around my legs to keep me in the car. I waited until the opportune moment, the car ahead of us fishtailing much worse than ours. I fired and apparently hit the driver of the car, hearing them yell over the howling wind as the car began to spin out of control.

"Kate," Jack screamed out fearfully as Bobby hit a snow drift, the Impala listing to the side.

I climbed back into the car calmly, Jack snatching me into my lap and wrapping his arms around me tightly, "You scared the shit out of me Katie…"

Bobby smacked into a parked car, the sound of metal on metal deafening as we bounced back onto the street. "Shit! Wrecked the whole side of my fucking car," he cussed, stepping on the gas angrily. Jack leaned forward into the seat, my hand fisting in his tee shirt to keep a hold on him, "You gonna get these guys before you kill us?"

"We got a fucking blow out Jack-"

"Then let's just top the car Bobby. Okay," Jack asked, the eldest Mercer turning around to glare at him. I swallowed, feeling the car slowly losing control around me. "Shut up, Jack; we're riding this motherfucker out to the rim."

I looked at Jack and saw all that I needed to protect and defend in his face.

I didn't want him in danger, put in harm's way for Bobby's lust to kill. My arms wrapped around his neck and I stared back at the snowy night behind us, feeling his heart thud wildly against mine. "Jack. I don't wanna lose you baby; I need you to know that i don't wanna lose you-"

"Jack, you got your seatbelt on? Watch this. Hold on," Bobby shouted, my hands tightening on Jack as I braced my feet against the door. I felt it as the Impala smashed into the back of the car, making it swerve wildly. We skidded to a stop as the other car flipped, watching as it landed on its hood and slid for a good twenty yards.

Jack's breathing was heavy.

We all heard the men screaming in pain…

"Kate, stay in the car," Bobby panted, opening his car door. Jack and Angel got out as well, the youngest Mercer closing the door behind him. I simply went to the other side and climbed out, Jack's eyes meeting my own.

I could handle this.


	20. Saving Me

I held Jack's hand as we watched Bobby and Angel walk towards the car, my breath heavy in the silence of the night. Bobby pulled one of the wounded men out of the wreckage and the man screamed, Jack flinching away from the sound. I knew it brought bad memories back for him and curled my fingers around his tighter, inhaling deeply.

"Who the fuck sent you to kill Evelyn Mercer," Bobby asked, the man laughing before crying out in pain.

"Kill me," he said, looking up at Bobby. "It won't matter. Y'all will just end up like that old lady-"

I tore away from Jack as I pulled his switchblade off of his hip, shoving past the brothers to attack the man who had killed Evelyn. "You son of a bitch," I cried out, dropping to my knees as I shoved the blade into his stomach up to the hilt. I kept pulling out the knife and plunging it right back in, knowing exactly what damage I was causing him. If I didn't kill him, I was sure the eventual infection would- I tore through all the vital structures in his midsection even after he stopped breathing, sobbing even as I continued to stab.

Eventually arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me off the ground as the knife clattered to the pavement. "Shh Kate, shh," Jack said, sounding as if he had been crying as well.

There were two gunshots as I lay numb in Jack's arms, the youngest Mercer breathing shakily.

"Let's go," Bobby murmured, picking up the switchblade carefully.

Jack lifted me from the ice andcarried me to the Impala, sitting with me in his lap as he cradled my head against his shoulder. "Its going to be okay," he promised me, stroking my hair. Lethargy and all of the pain I still hadn't dealt with since ma's death washed over me, sucking me into unconsciousness as my eyes closed.

* * *

><p>I came to in the bathroom as Jack struggled to take my clothes off, sitting on the floor, half-naked and shivering in the cold. "No Jack," I protested weakly, feeling him reach over me to turn the water on in the shower.<p>

"Kate, you're covered in blood," Jack said, trying to reason with me. "You can go back to sleep soon. Let's just get you cleaned up."

Jack helped me into the shower and I leaned against the wall for support, the scent of blood being washed from my skin. I stood there, letting the silent tears mix in the with the scalding water that burned my flesh in relentless torrents.

"Bro!"

I heard Jack cuss before getting off of the sink, "Bobby's calling me. I'll be back in a minute."

He left without hearing my response and didn't return for what could have been hours. By that time I had slumped to the floor of the shower and the water had run cold, goose bumps accompanying the shivers that had set in. "Kate," Jack asked before snatching the curtains back, seeing me shake and shudder. He jumped into the shower fully clothed, braving the freezing water to wrap his arms around me. I looked up at him, blinking as the water bouncing off of Jack's back and shoulders hit my face.

"I killed a man today Jackie," I murmured.

"No Kate, its alright. Bobby took care of him," he replied, cradling me in his arms and standing.

He took me into our bedroom, climbing out of his wet clothes to climb in the bed with me. I shivered against him, curled up in the fetal position as Jack struggled to get me warm. "I'm sorry Katie. I shouldn't have left you in the shower… I should have stopped you tonight," Jack said quietly, pressing his lips to my forehead as he sniffled.

I closed my eyes and trembled, "Jack, its my job to save lives, not take them."

His fingers pinched my chin and I opened my eyes to look up at him, Jack's eyes searching mine. "You saved my life, Katie. You showed me that love was powerful, unconditional… forever. You gave me two beautiful sons- baby, you gave me a reason to live! Baby, when… when I found out that mom died, it felt like the final nail in my coffin. I didn't want to live anymore: I lost my girlfriend, my baby and now my mother. It was too much. And then you came, like a light in the darkness," he murmured, pressing his lips to mine gently.

"You saved me again, as you have so many times Katherine Scott. You. Saved. Me."

I closed my eyes as the tears began to flow, my arms wrapping around Jack's neck to hold him against me. "And you gave me something to live for," I replied quietly, his fingers stroking my cheek. "The boys," Jack said, knowing exactly where my heart lay.

"Yeah."

I nodded tearfully even as I struggled to smile, Jack rolling over on top of me. He pressed his lips to mine, reaching down to pull one of my legs up so that he could have the leverage he needed. My body hummed in response, thankfully alive as he touched me. Jack propped himself up on one elbow, holding me tightly as he slid into my very soul, naked and prone before him. I smiled as I heard him gasp, feeling my body envelope his fully and knowing that it was a sensation only described as being alive.

We stared at each other for what seemed like an endless moment, his lips moving soundlessly, needlessly.

My legs locked high around his waist, long fingers tightening on my thigh and in the sheets beside my head. I felt the tears roll down my the sides of my face towards my hair as I panted, on the verge of passing out from hyperventilating so badly- I couldn't seem to catch my breath. My hips rolled in tandem with his, pulling him deeper and deeper within my body; it was as if I were consuming him, Jack being lost in the inferno that was our passion.

His body pulsed in long, smooth undulations, his pace frustrating as I sought only completion. But Jack would not grant me the only thing that would quench the flames of this devastating love, my lover held his grip on sanity, on life, on me…

I hoped that his fingers would go through me, crush me, turn me into dust...

"Jack," I cried out, my lips trembling as I climax.

My whole body bowed upwards and Jack rode out the wave with me, holding onto me as he struggled to last. He could not, however, perform that superhuman feat and lost himself within the ocean he struggled to help me out of. The sight of Jack climaxing could have sent me over the edge once more, so erotic and maddening. I watched with half-lidded eyes as he threw his head back, all of the muscles in his neck and shoulders tightening underneath his skin. The veins in his arms stood out from the soft skin in which they resided, the flexing and tightening of his stomach in time with the movement of his muscular hips.

Jack collapsed on top of me, both of us thirsting for air. After a moment he pulled out and rolled to my side, taking me up in his arms. I relaxed, knowing that I was safe in his arms and closed my eyes, luxuriating in his smoky scent.

He let out a satisfied sigh and a small chuckle, "Are you okay babe?"

I smiled as I realized that I couldn't answer him, thinking- ridiculously- that I would never be capable of complete coherent thought ever again. The best he was got from me was a weak nod and Jack smiled, kissing my forehead.

"Kate! Get the fuck down here," Bobby shouted up the stairs. "Shit!"

With a sigh, I looked at Jack and smiled, rolling over onto my stomach. "He just never lets up, does he?"


	21. Wounded

I rounded the corner into the kitchen with my hands in my hair, feeling that familiar ache settle into my muscles and bones. "Those dogs ate you up something good, huh," I questioned, sitting in front of Bobby and looking him over. The bites on his arms still bled, much worse than my own superficial wounds. Bobby winced as I ran upstairs to get my bag and returned to disinfect the bites, his eyes searching mine. "What about you Kate? How's the leg? You alright," he asked quietly, checking out my leggings and sweater combo.

I nodded and smiled, "I'm fine."

"He's, uh, worried about you. After what happened tonight…"

"I don't wanna talk about it Bobby," I murmured, pulling on a pair of gloves and digging through my portable first aid bag. I pulled out a small pair of scissors, a needle and surgical thread, Bobby's eyes growing fractionally larger. "Here, you'll want these. I'm gonna have to clean your wounds up," I said, handing him three Vicodin. Bobby sighed exasperatedly and I reached over onto the stove to get a wooden spoon, wrapping it in a dishcloth and sticking it between his teeth.

I heard the wood splinter as Bobby bit down after the first cut, my eyes flashing up to his face.

He grunted and nodded for me to continue, his hand balled into a fist. I cleaned up the bites the best I could and began to stitch him up, Bobby stiffening. "Hold on," I paused, moving to sit on his knee with his arm in my lap. "I need better leverage to see..."

Bobby pulled the spoon out of his teeth and panted heavily, breathing down my neck. I struggled to ignore him and continue working but he was making it practically impossible with his free hand on my hip pressing me closer and his erection rubbing up against my thigh. I shivered to think that only a layer and a half of fabric separated me from him, knowing in the back of my mind that it was wrong. I had Jack and I wasn't willing to lose him.

Not again.

"Bobby, stop-"

I turned and he took the opportunity to catch me in a lip lock, his rough facial hair scratching my face.

"Don't push me away Kate. Don't push me away again," Bobby whispered, sounding- for once in his thirty-three years life, truly vulnerable. I let out an agonized, choked sob and kissed him feverishly, my face scrunched up in pain. "This is wrong," I cried, Bobby kissing away my tears before returning to claim my mouth. He grunted hungrily as I began to ride his lap, his uninjured arm wrapped around my waist. "Baby..." There was a knock on the front door but I couldn't move and Bobby wouldn't move, so I heard those distinct boots come down the stairs, trying my best to pull away. "Stop. Let me go Bobby, stop," I begged, Bobby finally releasing me.

I hadn't realized that I was crying until Jack came to stand in the doorway, his eyes locked on my face.

It looked bad, I knew it. Bobby was in his chair with an erection you couldn't help but notice, breathing heavily with his eyes closed and his lips swollen. I stood in the middle of the floor with tears on my face, clutching the hem of my tank top. There was no way I could lie myself out of it; Jack knew me too well. "Um, the cops… outside," he murmured, unable to make a coherent sentence. "Get me something to cover my arm Jackie," Bobby said emotionlessly. As much as he wanted to be with me, I knew that he wanted to protect Jack from anything that would hurt him even more. Jack disappeared and came back with one of ma's robes, Bobby holding it in his fists before pulling it on.

"Bobby, you in here-"

Green came around the corner and I forced myself to smile, moving to lay a hand on Bobby's shoulder- and block the medical supplies on the table with my body. "Hey Green? What's up," I asked coolly, the oldest Mercer flashing him a smirk. "You finally come to see me."

"This ain't a personal call," Green murmured, checking us over. Bobby stood and pulled his robe together, moving past him, "Then maybe we should move this little shindig into the living room." I moved with Bobby and looked to where Fowler was standing in the middle of the room, the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up. He made me feel uncomfortable, his eyes never leaving me even as I sat down on the couch far away from Bobby. "What's going on Green?"

"We could ask you the same," Fowler said, glaring right at him. "What happened to your arm Gretsky?"

A trail of dark red blood seeped down his arm and the needle dangled from the thread, abandoned from where our mutual lust had distracted us. Jack moved from beside the couch to get a towel, Green watching me as I moved to finish the stitches. "Looks like it hurt," the detective said, raising an eyebrow.

Bobby laughed and nodded, "Oh, it did. We played some Turkey Cup today and well, you know how competitive Ms. Scott gets around the ice. So now I've got this pretty little wound to make for a nice battle scar."

Fowler smirked, "When you said that she liked to get physical, I didn't believe you Green. She seems much too tame."

"Don't let the looks fool you," I replied, smirking. "I'm a Mercer."

Green cleared his throat and Fowler looked at him, narrowing his eyes before returning his attention back to me. "Well, despite my initial misgivings, its seems that you've proved exactly who you are. Hey Gretzsky, do you know what this is? We found your hair, Kate, and yours as well Bobby, on a pair of contract killers that were found not an hour ago. Both were shot, but one was practically stabbed to death," Fowler said, dangling a bag at me. Bobby and I exchanged a glance before laughing, Jack standing in the doorway nervously. Bobby shook his head with a sigh, looking at Green sadly. "Damn bro, you gotta be kidding me with this? What's in that bag anyway, a hair from his wife's tit? I'll believe that load of shit, that they found my hair on a dead body, when the jailhouse doors slam behind me sweet lips." Green snapped, looking at Bobby, "Look Bobby, I know you too well for you to be lying to me so just tell me what you know! I'm the law around the parts and I can help you, but I gotta be in the know to do my job. Are you gonna help me or are you gonna get yourself killed over this shit?"

Angel shook his head, loosening his arm from around Sofi to confront our accusers. "Green, just tell me how you go from petty thug to contract killer overnight? And if they were professional shooters like you say, they'd have never told us who they were working with anyway," he said sternly in his gentle voice.

The detective in front of me sighed and stepped back, shaking his head. "If you think this is over, you're wrong. Don't leave town- I ain't playing," Green said, heading towards the door. Angel walked them there and opened the door, "You know the cops are always welcome at the Mercers'. It just makes us feel safe and cozy, just the way we like it."

As soon as they were gone, I inhaled deeply, covering my face with my hands before I suddenly remembered that I was not out of the woods yet.

"Oh God- Jack."


	22. The Truth Will Set You Free

Jack stared at me with eyes ablaze, every muscle in his body painfully tensed. I adjusted myself on the couch and inhaled deeply, biting down on my bottom lip.

"How long," he asked softly but dangerously, his eyes never leaving mine. "Bobby, answer me."

"I ain't seen her since she left Jack, swear. But… we had a thing for maybe six months before I took off a couple of years back," Bobby replied, Jack's face morphing into a mask of pure rage and disbelief. "Six months? I thought- thought maybe three or four times, but for six months you were sleeping with my brother," Jack questioned in disbelief.

I began to cry and ran my fingers back through my hair, shaking my head, "Its why I left Jack! Yeah, it had been six months but I swear I only had sex with him ten times and I never wanted to- I always tried to stay away from him. Baby, you remember how bad things were between me and Bobby then. I was so lost and then I ended up pregnant-" As if he suddenly remembered our young sons, Jack withdrew into himself, all of the life going out of his eyes. "Are they mine… or are they Bobby's," he asked, his face a mixture of sadness and hate. I looked at him, confused and upset. "Of course they're yours," I replied, Jack inhaling deeply.

"Are you sure?"

I felt Bobby's eyes on me and nodded, Jack swallowing. "Yes," I answered him. "They're your sons."

"I ain't staying around for this," Bobby muttered, standing. I did the same and stood in front of him, pushing him in the chest. "You're as much a part of this as we are Bobby. You ain't leaving me to answer for this alone," I said, standing toe to toe with the man that I loved and hated so passionately.

Before Bobby could even protest, he was sailing across the room, Jack delivering a tackle that would have made our dad proud had we ever had one.

I was screaming as they fought, the fists flying and the table buckling underneath them after a few minutes bearing the combined weight of Bobby and Jack. Angel attempted to break up the fight before letting them just try and work it out, sighing- if Mercer's wanted to fight, they'd fight one way or another. "You piece of shit Bobby! You're my brother," Jack screamed, landing a right hook to his older brother's jaw that made Bobby almost faint. His eyes were still rolling as I struggled to pull Jack off of him, unseeing as he attempted to get his wits together.

"Don't fucking touch me Kate!"

Jack turned and pushed me with enough force to send me sprawling back into the fireplace, my body twisting so that I landed face down. With a gasp and a sickening crunch, my face exploded into white hot, blinding pain, Sofi rushing over to help me as Angel finally pulled Jack and Bobby apart. "I fucking hate you! I hate you both," Jack bellowed, wrenching away from Angel and looking at my bloody hands as I clutched my face.

He took one last, hate-filled look at me before walking out of the front door and slamming it behind him.

"Angel, go get him," I begged, Bobby panting on the floor.

"You gotta let him go Kate," Angel said, carrying me to the sink with Sofi running behind him. I shrieked and began to fight him, the much bigger Mercer wrestling me to the ground. "Stop it! There ain't no use in fighting me Katherine; I am not your enemy! What you and Bobby did was fucked up, but I know that he's at fault, not you! So get your self cleaned up so you can deal with Jack and I'll take care of Bobby, alright? Just do what I'm telling you to do and stop!" I cried as he helped me to my feet, Sofi pulling my hair up into a bun and cutting the water on in the sink. She helped me clean my face and hands, getting me a bag of ice as I sat down on the kitchen table. "Kate, we all know Bobby. Jack knows Bobby-"

"It takes two to tango Sofi and I would be lying to say that I hadn't enjoyed taking sex with him," I murmured, biting down on my bottom lip. "Come on, you did it too. You can't lie to me- I did walk in on the two of you, after all."

"That was different. Angel and I weren't together at the time," Sofi said defensively.

I grimaced to hold back a whimper as I set my nose, pulling a roll of tape out of my bag to hold the bones in place. "How do you think it all started Loca? Jack and I had this big argument about how our lives were going- shit, I wasn't happy with him and he knows it. I ran to Bobby, my big brother and he comforted me, but then it went beyond that. It was one time and then after, I swore that it would never happen again. But it did- he's got a way with words… and his hands… and his eyes… I never wanted Jack to find out, never wanted it to hurt him," I whispered, holding the bag of ice she pressed to my face.

"You're the only one who can fix it now and you have to fix it before you lose him forever."

"You know, for a dumb bimbo, you're pretty smart," I muttered, Sofi laughing before looking over my head and going silent immediately.

I turned to see Bobby standing there, his split lip and the way he held his ribs the only signs that Jack had actually gotten the upper hand on him. "Let us talk Sofi," he said, for once not calling her a derogatory name. Angel called from the other room, the sounds of footsteps moving in the hallway, "I think we're gonna go look for Jack. Its late and its getting cold- I'm gonna bring him home Kate."

"If you can find him."

With a whimper, I pulled my knees up to my chest, my toes curling up against the wooden chair, "So?"

"So I guess I didn't handle that well, did I," Bobby groaned, sitting down in the chair opposite from me. I glared at him and shook my head, "No Bobby, I think not. Jack isn't like you- thank God- but you don't know how to talk to him. For you to just dismiss him and that whole argument was just as much of a betrayal as what we did was! You were wrong there, just as wrong as I was when I let you fucking seduce me!"Bobby scoffed, looking at me in disbelief. "Seduce you? You were running around in fucking mini skirts and all these skimpy ass outfits-"

"I was sixteen Bobby! How the fuck was I in any position to seduce a twenty-six year old man," I asked, Bobby laughing humorlessly. "Well if I remember, you were in plenty of positions! And fuck you for throwing out the age thing- you weren't sixteen, you were never a child in any sense of the word. We both are at fault Kate, but you know that you felt something for me," Bobby replied, shaking his head.

I inhaled deeply before standing, "Yeah Bobby, I did. Once."


	23. A Certain Kind of Oblivion

The sound of the snow crunching underneath my boots seemed deafening to me, but I didn't care, not when Jack was looking at me with apathy written all across his features. He was in the park, having run to the same place that I had only days before, sitting in the snow at the tree where we had once declared our love for each other.

"Angel and Sofi drove around for hours looking for you," I murmured.

"Yeah, well, here I am," Jack replied, wincing when I came close enough that he could see my features. I grimaced and laid down away from him, sighing softly as I looked up into the branches above. "You know that I would have never hurt you Jack, not ever and especially not like that. I can't say that it didn't mean anything to me, but I can say that you meant more, that when Bobby and I… I was always thinking of you. I never stopped thinking of you babe," I said quietly, more to the open air than to Jack. I knew that he wouldn't want to hear it but that wouldn't keep me from saying it anyway.

I turned to look at Jack, inhaling deeply, "And so thus is the ballad of Jack and Kate…

"You know, I've always disliked dominant men; I think they're egotistical, overbearing and not to mention, my father- the very one who molested me as a child- was a forceful bastard as well. That aversion is exactly why I fell in love with you, Jack. Even when I was a pudgy ten-year-old and you a gangly twelve, I knew you were the one, my kind, sweet, gentle boy. I knew that you would never hurt me… and then I turned right around and hurt you," I spoke softly, closing my eyes as my face scrunched up in pain. "The older we got, the more headstrong we became and we got that Mercer mentality. It might as well had been in our DNA to butt heads… Your first love was music, mine medicine; you didn't want me going off to Maryland to study at John Hopkins-"

"You were gonna leave me behind," Jack said in a broken voice.

Opening my eyes, I sat up and looked at him, shaking my head. "No Jack, never."

I took his frozen hand in mine and he let out a choked sob, Jack closing his eyes to brave the oncoming tears. "And I didn't want you making anything of your music- I could just see the drugs and the groupies and you, dying long before your time. We were both so selfish Jack, stupid- we were kids! And I left that night, went to Bobby's apartment. As dominant as he is, I saw a tenderness in him that I couldn't deny, not when I felt like I was losing you babe. All I wanted was not to lose that feeling of safety, of trust and love- feelings that I only have with you. When I tell you that you are the only man that I have ever loved, the epitome of the term 'soul mate' I mean it with all the conviction of my heart and all the fiber of my being. And you, out of anyone else, knows that its true."

"I know, I know."

Jack began to cry and I scrambled into his lap, wrapping my arms around him. He looked up at me- with all of the pain he had held hidden in his heart for so many years clear in his eyes- letting out a choked sob as I held his face in my hands. "But Kate, I can't love you like this. Not when I hate you hate you so much," he admitted, burying his face in my shoulder. I cried into his hair and pressed my lips to his forehead, "I knew you would Jackie, I expected that much. And I know how you feel; it only makes since that you should hate me after all that I have done. Its my fault for the way things turned out; when… when I found out that I was pregnant, I couldn't take it, not knowing if it was yours or Bobby's. I wanted to have that abortion so bad, just so that I could forget about Bobby and any chance that it was his baby, so that we could just move on with our lives. But when I got to that abortion clinic and I sat in that lobby waiting for the moment when that tiny heart inside of me would cease to beat, I knew that I couldn't do it. Not when you loved that baby, when I knew that I would never be able to be with you- but that I could still keep a part of you. And so I went home and picked a fight, packed my stuff and disappeared. Just so you would never find out about what I had done…"

"And then it was all for nothing," Jack whispered, stroking my throat.

"I guess it was."

We stared at each other for several long moments, Jack beginning to shake underneath me.

I stood and helped him to his feet, wrapping my arm around his waist. "Come on, we gotta get you home sweetie; you'll freeze to death if you stay out here much longer," I murmured, Jack agreeing silently.

"And I'm, uh, I think I'm going home soon- to New York. I can't take hurting you like this and I'm tired- the kids need their mom… and their dad. Ethan and Liam know you and they talk about you all the time; they'd love to meet you Jack. I have no problems sharing custody with you because I know you'll love them unlike anything else, probably more than I ever could," I said quietly, looking up at him.

He sniffled and kissed the top of my head, "I'm not promising you anything right now- I won't make promises I can't keep. I have things to take care of in Nevada and I'm in no position to be a stay-at-home dad right now- but I love my sons and I want them, as I've always wanted them."

"I'll move my stuff out of your room, probably go stay in a hotel or something…"

We slowly made our way back to the house, Bobby looking up from the couch. "Jack, I am so sorry bro-"

Jack took my hand and led me up the stairs, closing the door behind us when we got to the room that we had shared. We packed my bags together, Jack picking up a small scrapbook out of my book bag. "I, well, Liam and Ethan and I made that for you. I don't know if I ever planned to give it to you or what, but you can have it if you want. Its got pictures of the boys and Trish and some of me, but you can take those out of you want," I suggested, biting down on my bottom lip. He shook his head and tucked the scrapbook into his own luggage, "Nah, I think I'll keep them. Whether I like it or not, you're the mother of my children Kate- my family."

"I love you Jackson Mercer."

"I love you too Kate."

He was still holding my hand as we took my luggage outside, Bobby moving to stand on the porch. I made to get into the driver's seat but Jack just shook his head, getting behind the wheel and driving away from the house in which we grew up- and grew apart.

It was quiet as I booked a room at the Marriot in the city, Jack helping me get my things moved in. The man at the desk slyly looked at my bruised and swollen face, his eyes shifting back to Jack repeatedly. All too soon, it was time for him to leave, Jack standing awkwardly at my door as I stood in front of him in my overly large sweater and leggings. "So this is it," Jack exhaled quietly, opening the door and stepping out into the hallway.

"Yeah," I said almost tearfully.

As he turned and began to walk away, I ran after him, wrapping my arms around his neck when Jack turned to face me. I smashed my mouth to his in a manner that definitely drew blood- I could taste as much, kissing him with a need and hunger I never knew that I was capable of. My nose as well was throbbing in pain after bumping into his, but I didn't care, not when I loved him like this.

"I never deserved to have you but I am so glad I did," I whispered, Jack hoisting me onto his waist.

"I guess one for the road never hurt anybody," Jack replied, carrying me back to the hotel room and kicking the door closed behind us.


	24. Pseudo

Angel came and picked me up from my hotel, the two of us driving back to the house in silence.

When I got there, the house had completely shifted in the last twenty-four hours from the immaculate manner in which I had left it to complete clutter and disarray. Various brands of beer bottles and half a dozen pizza boxes littered the coffee table and even the floor, clothes tossed anywhere and everywhere. What was worse, however, was the fact that several dozen types of firearms were laid all about- guns were mama's biggest pet peeves and this would have her rolling over in the grave.

"What the fuck happened to mama's house Angel," I questioned, looking over my shoulder at him. He sighed and motioned towards the kitchen, "Your boys got piss drunk last night- together, surprisingly. It looked like they had some heart to heart but they still were just drinking away their sorrows…"

I whistled and Jack poked his head out of the kitchen, looking worse for wear.

"Hey Kate, good morning," he said in a long drawl.

"Hey Jack; what'd you do," I questioned, looking around the room pointedly. He shrugged and grinned, moving back out of sight.

With a sigh, I began to clean up, Bobby coming down the stairs and standing in the doorway. "What are you going today," he asked as I turned my back on him, rolling my eyes unseen. "I don't know; why? Do you have something planned?"

"I wanna go to the contract killers' house. We should check it out- they say dead men tell no tales, but they might have left some important shit lying around," he replied. I stood and turned to look at him, shaking my head, "I may not know what I'm doing, but its sure as hell not that. I ain't getting in any deeper into this shit. I booked my plane ticket and I'm going home in few days- I don't need all that bullshit."

"Well then, Angel, Jack- get ready to ride boys."

There was a shriek and a clattering of dishes, Jack's laughter audible for only a split second before Sofi came tearing out of the room. She glared at Angel for a long moment and he sighed, Bobby shaking his head. "Look, can we go? Kate's not coming and Jerry's already slipped back home to Camille and the kids and we could really use as many hands as we can get-"

"Angel," Sofi said in her deep accented voice, holding a finger up to him. "Do I recall something about having dinner together? Because I seem to remember spending two hours in the kitchen…"

Angel rubbed his brow, his masculinity definitely threatened, "Sofi, baby-"

"She's so La Vida Loca," Bobby drawled, Jack laughing as he came into the living room to watch. Sofi turned on Bobby, Angel trying his best to keep them apart. "Bobby, you always gotta open your fucking mouth bro! Why'd you have to go there? You didn't have to go there," Angel said, Sofi punching him in the arm a few good times.

"Angel! You promised that this time, things would be different," she said in a whiny voice, hanging onto his arm.

Bobby looked at her, folding his hands over his heart, "Ai mami, you're breaking mi corazon, chica." I shook my head and sat down on the table, knowing that he was only being a dick because he was really hurting. "Angel, she's getting real comfortable here. What are you doing with her bro? I thought you were a macho man, a tough guy. It's a real shame that little Jackie's the only down to ride. Say goodbye to your big sister, Jackie- let's go!"

Jack moved past me, leering at Angel, "She's addicted to what Angel's dick did…"

They walked out of the door as Angel and Sofi disappeared into the house, leaving me to get things cleaned up.

This new, pseudo-life with Jack and the others, however young in the realm of time, felt like a knife in my heart. Despite how easily we talked and smiled at each other, it hurt to think about how I loved him and how I had lost him- it felt real and also strangely false, like I was in an alternate reality or something. He was still around, true, but the tenuous ties of loyalty and family had pulled us apart in ways that I didn't know could be fixed.

As sure as I'd thought I had been about giving up Jack almost six years ago, it was things like his smile or his scent that made me reconsider. It was seeing him sleep in my arms or shed those bittersweet tears that made me second guess everything.

It was knowing that I loved him, that I had had him and he slipped away that filled me with regret.

The doorbell ringing caught my attention and I set down the trash bag beside the wall, going out to answer the door.

"Hello," I said to the older man in front of me, watching him undoubtedly taking in my broken nose and blackened eyes. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for any one of the Mercers'. My name is Arthur Tyne- I was Evelyn Mercer's insurance agent," he smiled. I nodded and let him into the house, taking the trash into the kitchen as he made himself comfortable on the couch. "I'm Jack's… ex-wife Kate. He and Bobby are out running errands, but anything you need, I can surely help you with," I said kindly, bringing him a glass of water. "I'm sure you can- its just that with policies of this size, the company likes to makes sure that the beneficiary's red tags have been handled accordingly," the man replied, opening his briefcase and going over all of the paperwork with me.

When he was finished I looked up at the ceiling, exhaling quietly. "Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars," I murmured, shaking my head.

"Should I get in touch with the beneficiary or would you like to let him know?"

I turned to the lawyer, perplexed, "There's only one beneficiary?"

"Yes," he answered, equally confused. "Its Jeremiah Mercer."

"Angel."


	25. Twisting Strands of Fate

"It doesn't make any sense to me Angel," I murmured, looking up from the shit load of paperwork the insurance agent had left us. He sighed and looked up at me, "I know Katie. And that's the exact reason why we can't tell Bobby- not yet. Jerry's warehouse thing is the biggest red flag in this entire file so you and Jack and Bobby need to go visit the guy who shut it down-"

"Commissioner Douglass?"

Angel nodded and closed the folder, looking at his watch. "I'm going to go talk to one of Jerry's friends who was working on the project with him. Try and get some answers," he said, standing up and taking the folders off of the table. I lit a cigarette and began to smoke, "And why can't we just tell Bobby what we know?"

"Because this is going to require a little finesse-"

"Then let me come with you," I suggested, the older Mercer scoffing. "Given your prior reputation as a hothead, you'll be the first one to fuck it up. You're going with Bobby and Jack while I go and get to the bottom of this," Angel finished, leaving no room for argument.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I sat beside Bobby as he drove my Challenger, Jack quiet in the backseat. "Couldn't help but notice how you and Angel looked like you had some sort of plan," Bobby murmured, looking over at me. I shook my head and lit a cigarette, "Don't worry about it."<p>

We pulled into the parking garage of the city department, Bobby and Jack watching as I pulled out my cell phone. "We're looking for a black Mercedes, model year 2004 or newer," I said, getting out of the car and beginning to scour the underground parking lot. It didn't take long to find, Bobby jimmying the lock.

"When's he coming out," Jack asked nervously.

"Any moment now. It's almost lunchtime," I replied, Bobby nodding. "Jack, go get the gas. I'm gonna go wait for Douglass…"

Much quicker that I would have thought, the Commissioner made his appearance, walking towards me quietly. "Ma'am, this is my car; can I help you," he asked, looking at me pointedly. I smirked and felt Bobby's weight lower the car, the eldest Mercer walking from the trunk to the hood of Douglass' Mercedes. "Yeah, you can help us: we wanna know about Jeremiah Mercer. Why'd you shut down his business," Bobby questioned as he jumped off hood, leaving a large dent. "I don't know what you're talking about and even if I did, I **wouldn't** share that information with you people- I can't. But if you'll excuse me…"

The commissioner brushed past Bobby and I, getting into his car.

Bobby sighed and I stepped away from the car, Jack stepping forward. "You asked for it Douglass…"

I kicked in a back window, watching as Bobby and Jack doused the interior and exterior of the car with gas. As they worked, I lit a cigarette, keeping my eye on Douglass. "See, now I gotta light your ass on fire! All I wanted was a name, but you're gonna make me turn your ass into the black gingerbread man now," Bobby shouted, the commissioner rolling down the window to finally speak. "I want the name of whoever's running things around here and I wanna know right fucking now," Bobby said, taking my cigarette.

"His name is Victor Sweet."

Bobby smirked and nodded, "Thanks. And now you can be on your way."

He tossed the cigarette into the car, the flames growing quickly- much too quickly for Douglass to escape. We took off, Bobby pulling me along as my eyes stayed glued on the burning man in front of me.

We sped away from the building, going to a bowling alley to get ourselves together.

"That was fucking nuts Bobby," Jack murmured, stroking my cheek as I began to drown myself in whiskey. I couldn't handle all the killing- and I was disturbed that even though it bothered me, the second time was much easier than the first. Bobby shook his head and looked around, "Where the fuck is Angel?"

"I'll call him."

Angel answered on the first ring, sighing, "Yeah Kate?" I stepped away from the guys and looked around to make sure they couldn't over here me, biting my bottom lip. "What'd you find out Ang," I asked, running my fingers back through my hair. "I'm less than five minutes away. We'll talk when we get there," Angel replied, immediately hanging up with me.

I walked back to the others, their eyes searching my face.

"What did he say," Jack asked, sighing when I shrugged. "Nothing- but whatever he did find, its something big; I could tell that from the sound of his voice. I know my brother," I answered, looking up as he walked in. I immediately ordered him a beer and had it waiting when he joined us, Angel taking it gratefully.

"So," Bobby said, Angel's dark eyes troubled. "Jerry ain't been straight up with us about his redevelopment project- you know, the warehouse conversion into luxury lots, storefronts and all that shit? I found out his dream's dead… Jerry got involved with some bad people. The city got on him about fraud and what not, cut his loans off like a month before ma got killed. So technically, Jerry's broke," Angel replied, Bobby's green eyes looking like fire. "You think this had something to do with what happened to ma?"

Angel sat down and sighed, "No, but I am saying it's something we should look into."

We exchanged a look and Jack, ever the perceptive one, noticed it, my throat tightening with guilt. "We didn't tell you, but we found out that… Jerry's getting a check for a quarter of a million dollars-"

"Wait, from mom's death," Jack asked sharply, his eyes darting between Angel and I. "You guys are coming up with this pretty quick," Bobby said, seeming like he didn't want to hear what I was saying. I smirked and shook my head, "Yeah, we should've been cops." I began playing with my lighter as Angel began to speak, the fire dancing before my eyes. "Jerry owes someone named Victor Sweet some money… And ma had been on his case about the fucking gangbanger."

"Son of a bitch," I whispered. "Jerry gets the life insurance, pays Sweet and gets him off his back. Fuck."

Jack shook his head in denial, "Nah, it can't be like that. Jerry selling out ma for what, some land? He ain't like that- he's one of us Bobby! He's a Mercer."

"Holy shit… look who showed up," I murmured, looking over Jack's shoulder.

They all turned to watch Jerry walk into the bowling alley, our luck seeming unreal in that moment. He went and talked to a large man, oblivious to who was watching him. "Who is that," Bobby asked menacingly, his jaw set. "That looks like Evander Pierceson- him and Jerry were part of the union when Jerry was working on that big housing development my sophomore year. Yeah, that's him," I replied, my hand wrapping around the gun in the back of Bobby's jeans. He reached back and grabbed my hand, shaking his head, "No Kate. Not yet."

Jerry passed the man an envelope and as soon as he was gone, Bobby moved towards Evander, his hand around his gun.

"Hey Evander!"

We watched as he struggled to get his family together, Bobby pulling out the gun, "Uh uh. Ain't nobody going anywhere until we have a little chat. Evan, what's in the fucking envelope?"

"What envelope," he asked, Bobby chuckling humorlessly. "Don't play fucking stupid with me. What are you one of Sweet's boys now? He running shit like his uncle, treating your bitch ass like a house nigger, huh," Bobby asked, cocking his pistol. Evan's daughter ran up and threw her arms around her father, his eyes pleading as they locked with mine. "Don't fuck with him Evander- he ain't in the mood for games," I murmured, looking at his terrified child. My maternal instinct was raging and all I wanted was for him to get her out of this situation. "Just give Bobby the goddamn envelope and walk away."

Trembling, he gave the package to Bobby as I exhaled softly, glad that it was over.

"We'll be seeing you soon Evan- you can count on that."


	26. Looking to the Future

"What do we do Bobby?"

We were sitting outside of Jerry's house, Bobby visibly upset and fuming. Jack and I were in the backseat, Angel sitting beside him quietly. He popped the door open and made to get it, all hands reaching forward to restrain him. "Nah, let me go! I ain't playing no more; I'mma go in there and bust that fucking melon-"

"His family's in there," Jack said, his brother glaring at him.

"You're gonna have to calm down Bobby," I whispered. "You can't just go fucking nuts all the time."

Bobby was still pissed as he slammed the door, "I am fucking calm- he just thinks I'm a fucking idiot! He thinks that I don't know what the fuck is going on!" I sighed and reached forward to wrap my arms around his neck, whispering in his ear quietly. "Just breathe Bobby. Please," I murmured, pressing my temple to his.

It was a few moments longer before he completely relaxed into my touch, Jack's face carefully blank as I dropped back into the seat.

"Let's go home," he rumbled in his low bass, Bobby agreeing silently.

* * *

><p>"So you're actually leaving," Jack murmured, sitting in my hotel room as I packed. I nodded quietly and let my clothes fall from my fingers, "I wanted to know if I could stay at the house tonight. My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon after checkout and since we're gonna talk to Jerry in the morning, I thought you could run me to the airport. Is that alright?"<p>

"Katherine, I know we're not together and all, but you don't have to act like we're not family," Jack scoffed, shaking his head.

I smiled wryly and continued to pack, freezing as my eyes fell on a small ring box that had somehow gotten mixed up in my things. I picked it up, opening it to find a dainty band affixed with a nice-sized diamond. Without alerting Jack, I took the ring out of the box and began to examine it- it could have only gotten into my suitcases from where I had packed everything up. "To Kate, the only one I've ever loved. Jack," I breathed, the sound of the TV drowning out my words.

I replaced the ring and tucked the box away, intent on putting it back in Jack's room without him being any the wiser. If he had truly wanted to give me that ring, he would have…

"Um, its getting late Jack. I should get some sleep," I murmured, Jack groaning as he got off of the couch.

He turned to face me, raising an eyebrow, "You look funny. What's up with you?"

"Just missing the boys…"

I hugged him and kissed his cheek when he walked to the door, surprised when he wrapped his arms around me. "Katherine Scott, you have no idea how much I care about you. I'm coming to New York and we're gonna raise our kids like they deserve. Its killing me not to be with my boys, to have our family all broken up like this. But I'm gonna fix it darling, I promise you that; everything's gonna be alright," Jack said low in my ear, his cool breath tickling my skin.

"I'm gonna make it right."

"Promise me," I whispered, pulling back so that I could see his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes stared back into my own, Jack brushing his thumb over my bottom lip gently. I could almost sense him about to kiss me but he held himself back, instead kissing my cheek. "I swear Kate," he smiled, tears springing up fresh into my eyes. "I'm coming home."

I laughed and reached up to brush my lips against his in a gesture that was more appreciative than it was loving, Jack grinning despite himself.

"Go to bed! I'll pick you up in the morning."

I ran back into my hotel room and immediately got the ring box out, laying in bed as I stared at it longingly. "I can have hope for the future. I can have Jack- I only have to want it bad enough," I whispered, smiling to myself.

* * *

><p>When the morning came, I was waiting for Jack to arrive, dressed in a white Henley and dark jeans tucked into a pair of leopard-print Ugg boots. My hair was in loose waves around my face, which was clean and makeup free- and still relatively pretty even with my healing nose, which I was now sure was only mildly fractured instead of broken.<p>

"Kate, you up," Jack asked, opening the door with his room key.

I smiled and bounded over to him, kissing the tip of his nose. "So I had this amazing dream last night and I was singing- so I made sure to write it down for you. Here," I said, handing him the song scribbled on a hotel notepad. "Nah Kate, you have to sing it. Come on- we have all the time in the world baby," Jack grinned, grabbing an apple off of the table and sitting down on the couch in front of me.

Nervous, I laughed, "Don't make fun of me. I think its really pretty- thought you could tweak the lyrics and make it into your own, if you liked it…"

"Hearts beat fast, colors and promises. How to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow… One step closer," I sang quietly, careful not to meet Jack's eyes. "I have died everyday, waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid for I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more…"

"Time stands still- beauty in all she is. I will be brave, I will not let anything take away what's standing front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this. One step closer… I have died everyday, waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid for I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more- and all along, I believe that I would find you. Times has brought your heart to me and I have loved you for a thousand years. And I'll love you for a thousand more," I crooned, my foot tapping on the floor so that I could keep the time. "I have died everyday, waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid for I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more… And all along, I believe that I would find you. Times has brought your heart to me and I have loved you for a thousand years. And I'll love you for a thousand more."

Jack was quiet as I finally looked at him, his eyes searching mine.

"Do you like it," I asked timidly, Jack shaking his head. With my wounded ego, I bit my bottom lip even as he smiled softly, "Well… then maybe you love it."

"Yeah Kate. I love it."

I smiled, relieved and nodded. "Good."

"Good."


	27. Shatter

We sat on the couch side by side, waiting for Jerry to arrive. Bobby was already pacing the length of the living room, visibly irritated.

I turned as the door opened and Jerry walked in, his usual smile plastered on his face. Bobby immediately stepped back out of sight, Jerry standing in the doorway. "What y'all asses want? I was shopping for Christmas- it is next weekend, after all. We should throw up some lights, mom would like that after all," he said, oblivious to the expression on my face. "Jerry… what money were you shopping with," Jack asked, pulling out the envelope and holding it out towards his older brother. "A payoff to Victor fucking Sweet? What were you thinking-"

"No, no! Y'all don't know who y'all are fucking with!" Jerry looked around quickly, panicked. "Where's Bobby?"

"Right here, Jerry," Bobby shouted, stepping out of the corner behind him. He punched Jerry and I began to yell at Bobby, "Don't hurt him! We only need a few answers! Stop it Bobby!"

Bobby knelt down beside Jerry, his eyes intense with anger as he held him down. "Hey big brother, I wanna know what the fuck is going on. Now Angel's gonna ask you some questions-" I watched as my brother stood over them, his arms crossed over his chest. "And Jerry, I shit you not, if you had anything to do with ma getting killed, I will kill you. Right here and now!"

"No Bobby, no," Sofi said from the kitchen doorway, her hand pressed over her heart.

"We know you lied about your business! And we know you got mixed up with some gangsters-" Jerry looked up at Angel, confused, "You all think I had something to do with mom getting killed?"

Angel shrugged, looking at Jeremiah evenly. "You got a check for a quarter of a million that you just so happened to forget to mention, from mom's life insurance," he replied, Jerry pulling himself up into a sitting position. "No man, she took out the policy for the girls in case anything happened- I ain't had nothing to do with that! Come on," Jerry said, looking at Bobby.

"You made the payments," I interjected, my anger and sadness in a war with each other for domination. "And good timing Jerry- because just when it seems like all is lost for you Ma gets shot by some gangsters and now you hit the fucking lottery," Bobby said spitefully. Jeremiah looked around the room again in disbelief, "So y'all are tripping because I made insurance payments? I paid all her bills! And where the fuck were y'all? How many years did I have to take care of her my God-damned self? And you're going to tell me I killed her?" Jerry scrambled off of the ground and pushed Angel away to punch Bobby in the face, his older brother grunting in pain. "Then tell me why you're paying Sweet," I asked sharply, his attention turning to me.

"Why? Why Kate," he questioned, panting angrily. "Because he killed my business, my life, my dreams you motherfuckers! He killed my mom because of me- she knew that Sweet had fucked with the project and she was barking at Douglass' door up until the very day she was killed! That's why he killed ma, because she was gonna expose him!"

The doorbell ran and Jack stood, smoothing my hair back comfortingly and kissing my forehead. I knew that he was jumping at the bit for any opportunity to get away from the argument- it was exactly arguments and drugs, beatings and rapes that had fucked him up so badly. I knew that because I felt the same exact way, but I was stronger than Jack was and I would let him have that moment to himself- he needed it.

From over my shoulder, I heard him open the door, however was there speaking in a muffled voice. "Your mother was a fucking whore-"

"Hey man," Jack started.

I was already off the couch and headed towards the door when I heard Jack yell 'fuck you', running to him. By the time I got to the door, Jack was already running across the lawn, pausing only briefly to pick up a handful of snow. "You piece of shit," he yelled, running down the street. I sighed and shook my head, running down the stairs after him, "Jack! Quit it- just let him go."

The man Jack had been running after had suddenly stopped and turned around, Jack freezing in his tracks at the sight of the ski mask and gun.

I felt my heart stop as the man cocked his pistol, time seeming to move in slow motion. "Jack," I screamed.

The man fired and Jack fell to his knees, his hand clamping down over the large wound in his shoulder. I heard him gasping for arm as the gunman pressed the muzzle against his forehead, Jack's eyes wide open.

I saw every moment that we had never had together flash before my eyes, all the kisses I had missed, all the nights with him I had not been able to share. I saw glimpses of the lives of our sons, growing up without their father, saw the visions of the babies Jack and I had not yet had run into the darkness of oblivion and fate. I could not lose him so easily, to some masked stranger in the street, not after I had fought so hard to get him back.

"Bobby!"

I heard him behind me, shoved into the snow as he fired at whoever attempted to kill Jack. "Not today, not my brother," Bobby said menacingly. There was a van speeding around the corner just as I stood, attempting to run to Jack as he did the same.

But he never made it, shot down on the corner sidewalk by the masked men from the van.

"No Kate," Bobby shouted, wrapping his arm around my waist. I had to watch as Jack writhed in pain on the ground, the blood spreading over snow and ice as he screamed out. We reached towards each other as Bobby ran back to the cover of the house, my eyes locked with his for that split second before I was taken to safety.

My life was there on that street corner, hanging on by a thread. Jack was losing so much blood….

And I was the only one who could save him.


	28. Death

Bullets tore through the house as Bobby pulled me along the floor, Jack screaming for his brother.

I could hear the agony in his voice, knowing that we was in serious trouble as well as tremendous pain. "I've got to get to my car Bobby! I've got to get to Jack," I cried, Bobby still shooting over my head in a cold, calculating manner. I could hear the bodies falling in the doorway, but above all else, I could hear Jack's voice. A sobbed scream more than anything else, he cried out for the only person he knew could protect him: "Bobby!"

"Jack," the oldest Mercer yelled in reply, looking at me. I pleaded with him quietly, Bobby reloading as Angel joined the battle.

"Bobby," Jack screamed again before sobbing uncontrollably. "Bobby, please."

Bobby teared up, his eyes bloodshot as Jerry screamed for his youngest brother. I could hear Sofi crying near the couch and I had the urge to comfort her, but as we were pinned down in the foyer, there was nothing I could do. "Jack, hold on baby! Just keep breathing," I shouted, knowing that he would do almost anything I told him.

"I can't lose him Kate- and I can't lose you. I can't lose anyone else," Bobby choked out, looking over at me from the other side of the doorway. He was silent for a moment as he looked out at where Jack was moaning in the snow, "Can you make it?"

"I just need a gun."

Angel slid me his pistols across the living room, making me scramble over glass and other debris to reach them. I inhaled deeply before letting all of my rage wash over me, standing up and running out of the door.

The shooters seemed surprised as I ran right into the line of fire, bullets hitting the ground where my feet pounded across the cement. I threw myself into the snow beside Jack, shielding him with my body as I fired back at the gunmen. My sacrifice did not go without earning me several wounds of my own, pain blistering my back, right arm and side. "Jack, I need you to help me. Crawl, drag yourself, anything! I can't carry you baby," I said, tossing away one of my guns when I was out of bullets.

"Jack Mercer, get up!" I pulled him up the driveway with my good arm, Jack trying his best to do as I asked even as he slipped against the blood-slick ice.

We got behind the Challenger and I left him in the snow, breaking the back window with my elbow to get inside. I pulled out my medical bag and began to tend to Jack's wounds, the gun battle raging on behind us.

There was pain in every breath that he rattled, Jack wrapping one of his hands around my thigh tightly. I leaned over him and pressed a compress to his shoulder, holding him down as he cried out. "Baby, don't leave me. Don't leave me," I whispered quietly, begging him not to die.

"Kate, I'm dying," Jack gasped out. "I'm dying. I don't wanna die. I'm dying-"

"Shut up Jack," I screamed at him, knowing that it wasn't his fault. I couldn't let him go- everything that I loved would be gone, leaving me with only memories and a few treasured photos. It wouldn't be enough, not ever.

And so I would not lose him.

"If you die, I'm coming after you," I threatened, Jack's blue eyes meeting mine. There was a spark of anger, of life in his eyes and I just knew that it was all the hope I had left of keeping Jack alive. When he stopped being angry, when he stopped caring, that's when he would let go. "I found that engagement ring Jack."

"No, I lost it-"

I shook my head- a movement that almost made me faint- smiling wryly at him, "I think I had the ring all along."

I heard a car rev and instinctively laid my body over Jack's, ready to protect him against whatever was coming. Jerry's Volvo smashed into the side of the oncoming van and I winced at the sound of the twisting metal, Jack letting out a soft moan.

"Would you've married me," he asked, gasping for air. "No, don't talk like that," I said, hearing the sound of running footsteps crunching through the snow and ice. "I'm still gonna marry you Jack Mercer. We're gonna go home to Syracuse, New York and raise Ethan, raise Liam. We're gonna have lots of babies, lots of happy years together-"

"Is he alive," Bobby asked, falling down into the snow beside me.

I nodded weakly, Bobby looking at me, "Oh shit Kate- you're hit too!" I shook my head and turned my attention back to the man underneath me, knowing that I had to focus. "I'm fine but he needs an ambulance Bobby," I said, knowing that the oldest Mercer was panicking. Angel began to yell to Sofi, his girlfriend scrambling over the ice as she came to join us, "Call 911!" Jack began to shiver beneath me and I tightened my hold on him, looking at Bobby. "You put your hands on his knees and stop that blood from flowing," I said with as much strength as I could muster in my voice. I knew that blood was spreading in a warm puddle underneath us, a mixture of Jack's and my own. I had hoped that it would keep him warm, if only a little bit. "Sofi, come lay down beside him!"

"I'm so cold Kate," he shivered, my hands immediately flying up to cradle his face. I could sense him trying to keep himself from convulsing, a trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth. "Just hold on Jack; I need you to just hold on for a few minutes longer."

"C'mon Jack, you gotta breathe," Bobby bawled, something that I know scared Jack- Bobby didn't cry. And then Jack was crying with him, looking up at me pleadingly, "Kate, you have to tell the boys that I didn't cry. Tell them that daddy was brave and that I went quickly-" Everyone began yelling at him, the struggle to live becoming horrifyingly real to all of them in that moment. "No, don't you die on me, you little fairy," Bobby screamed out, his hands tightening on his brother.

Jack smiled before grimacing in pain and I felt his entire body bow up underneath me, my eyes searching his face. "Jack, no-" I felt him sigh and completely relax, his body resting in the cold snow beneath us.

I didn't hear the sirens or their voices, but suddenly there was paramedics swarming all around us.

My arms wouldn't loosen from around him and they literally had to pull me away, Bobby holding me as I screamed out for Jack. They were doing compressions, trying to will that still heart into beating. I didn't know if they could save him, not when I had felt his very soul leave him… leave me. I hadn't noticed myself becoming short of breath as I slowly sank to the ground, collapsing in Bobby's arms. He was calling my name, sounding like he was miles away, some of the paramedics leaving Jack to tend to me.

I felt them working on me as warmth enveloped my entire being, a smile gracing my face as I closed my eyes and let myself fall into oblivion.

I'd be with Jack, one way or another.


	29. Beautiful Dreams, Dark Realities

My senses were bombarded as they rushed me through the hospital hallways, all of the voices and sights and smells and sounds seeming magnified. I was faintly aware of the fact that I couldn't move or speak even as I screamed to them that I was in pain, that I was alive. I could feel where every bullet had ripped through my flesh, the smell of burning flesh and gunpowder hanging in the air around me. My arm felt as if it were full of pins and needles and I knew that nerve damage like that was potentially permanent- even if I did survive this, I might never perform a surgery again.

"Katherine Scott is a female patient, twenty-three years of age, approximately one hundred and thirty pounds. One GSW to the shoulder, another to the arm; two GSWs to the upper chest region and another three to lower torso and one last GSW to the hip."

I knew that I had been hit, but not so many times and in not so many vital places. I prayed to whoever would listen that none of those bullets had hit anything major- I had too much to live for: Jack, my sons.

I wanted to live.

"Fuck. She's lost almost half her blood volume- I doubt she's gonna make it," a doctor said from overhead, shining a light into my eyes. From the look on his face, there was little reaction from my pupils; it wasn't a good sign. "What happened to these kids anyway?"

"Looked like a fucking battlefield outside their house, an old fashioned kind of shootout. They're still working on the guy across the hall, this girl's boyfriend, apparently- Walter said it looks bad, heartbeat's faint, they can't find a pulse. It sucks; they're cute kids," a woman's voice replied, sounding as if she was sorry to see us die so young.

It scared me.

My subconscious strained and rebelled against whatever bonds I was in, the exertion causing my heart rate to spike off the charts. "She's crashing! Someone get the crash cart; Anna, start compressions! Get that heart beating!"

Obeying orders, a pair of hands began to beat against my chest, the snapping and breaking of my ribs almost painful had I not been overwhelmed by everything else that I had been through. Still, I screamed out, knowing that no one could hear me. My heart skipped a beat and I gasped internally as it stopped altogether.

Sound began to disappear, followed by my sight and then there was only darkness…

* * *

><p>I laughed freely as I ran through a field of still-green wheat, my hair flying free and my legs bared naked to the sun. It felt like I was in Jack's embrace, warm and safe- just where I wanted to be.<p>

"Kate," a voice more beautiful than life itself called out. "Kate."

Suddenly Jack was there with me, laughing as I ran to him, "I guess you weren't lying when you said you'd come after me." I smiled and kissed him, the taste somehow like the blinding sun. My hands ran over his naked chest, fingers stroking his tattoos lightly. "I can't live without you baby. And I guess this is nice, right?"

"Well, it feels like heaven but I know this has to be hell," Jack replied, stroking my hair back.

I looked at him perplexed, taking his hand in mine, "Jack, heaven for me is wherever you are."

"Kate, we just… died. Our little boys are now orphans and our family will never be the same again." I only shook my head and sighed, wanting to deny all that he was saying. "Ethan and Liam will be okay, Jack; Trish will take good care of them… And Mercers are tough. They'll get through it-" Jack coughed painfully as a jolt of something rocked him, knocking him off his feet. I rushed to his side and held him, cupping his cheek in my hand as I tried to fix whatever was happening. "Jack, what's wrong? Tell me what's happening," I asked shrilly, my hands clutching at him.

I had already lost him once- I didn't think I could handle losing him again.

And then, just like that, Jack was gone, wind whispering through the wheat quietly.

"Jack…"

* * *

><p>It seemed like years before my eyes finally snapped open, my blurry sight locked on the blinding light above me. It burned like Jack's kiss, paining me immensely yet I could not look away.<p>

I began to hyperventilate as all the memories came flooding back- Jack being brought down to his knees. The gunfire that had cut him down, almost ended his life on that sidewalk on which we had once played hopscotch and all those games with friends. My attempts to save him. Pulling him up the driveway. Laying my body over his, protecting him the best I could. Holding him.

Feeling him… let go.

All of the machines I was now hooked up to began to sound, alarms being ignored by the hospital staff already working on me. "Ms. Scott, you're going to have to calm down. We're gonna get you fixed up as quick as we can," a nurse said, coming into my line of sight.

Eventually, I found my voice, asking for the only thing of concern to me, "Jack… Where's Jack?"

When no one answered me, I began screaming, thrashing wildly even underneath the assault of restraining hands.

"Jack," I screamed, agony consuming all that I was. Pain flooded my system and I knew that there was some serious damage inside of me, the taste of blood in my mouth and a heaviness on my chest. "Its okay, honey! You're safe," someone shouted, a comforting hand in my hair. I trembled, knowing that I didn't want to be saved. Jack was there, somewhere in the beautiful place and I wanted to be with him.

All the fight and fire went out of me and I slumped back down onto the table, weeping silently.

I felt a burning sensation in my arm before being overcome by lethargy, exhaling softly as I returned once again to the darkness.


	30. Never Let Go

Wherever I was in this darkness gave me clarity unlike anything I had experienced in living. I didn't know what to call it- unconsciousness, limbo, death maybe- but the obscurity gave me time to think, to replay the events in my life that had led up to the very moment my heart stopped.

Bobby.

He was the one who had found me, a child of only seven, wandering aimlessly around the cold, dark streets of Detroit. Bobby hadn't hesitated to pick up that bloodied, battered little body and hold it to him, promising that child that he would never hurt her, never leave her side.

And he hadn't.

I was grateful for Bobby- hell, I loved the guy.

For all of my life, he had been that protection, that safety I never had to think about because it was always… there. Bobby's love for me had been something that had always been with me, ever-present, sometimes suffocating but welcome all the same.

Just like Evelyn and Angel and Jerry.

The family that had adopted me made me feel safe, made me feel as if I had truly had a home. I realized then, in hindsight, that what made a family was not birth or a piece of paper: it was love. Pure, unadulterated love for someone else, someone that cared, someone that would lay down their life for yours. It was how I loved Evelyn, the only mother I had every known; she had taken all of me, both good and bad, not caring if what and who I was right or wrong… only that I was hers. It was how I loved Jerry, the father figure in a house full of boys who had helped raise me and keep me on the right path. It was how I loved Angel, that fun older brother that I could rip and run the streets with, who never cared if I tagged along.

And it was how I loved Jack.

That night that Jack walked into our lives, into the Mercer household, I hadn't hesitated to do for him as Bobby had done for me. I found him. I saved him from his demons- himself- and I promised him that I would never hurt him, never leave his side.

But I failed.

I had sacrificed Jack's heart for Bobby's many times over, giving into to physical and emotional desires that I should have denied. I should have sacrificed those needs for Jack, should have given him a chance to fulfill them. I was a selfish person in the worst of ways, but the moment I stopped thinking about myself was in that moment that a slender, plastic stick turned blue in my hand.

In that moment that my worst fears were confirmed, I decided that I would think about everyone else but myself in that moment.

The baby deserved better than what I could give him. I was a stupid teenager who had her fair share of drug and alcohol use. I was unmarried and cheating on the only man I had even truly loved with his very own brother- I wasn't mother material. On the other hand, I had hope for Jack; he had potential, dreams, a chance. To burden him with a child and a wife to care for- I knew he wouldn't hesitate to marry me just to give our baby a stable home- would be selfish. We could have plenty of babies when he was famous and if I… if I went through with my plan, he would eventually forgive me and we would eventually forget the baby that never was.

But it wasn't in my heart to kill something that Jack loved so much.

Once he had found out about our baby, Jack and I fought about what to do. It disgusted him so much that I was willing to have an abortion but he was so caught up in the dreams about a daughter that we weren't ready for that he couldn't see that I was attempting to give a future to the both of us. And so I had gone to the abortion clinic alone, standing in that mint and grey office when I realized with a shock to the system that the baby was Jack. It was a little piece of his heart, a ball of his warmth nestled inside of me- always a part of me.

And I couldn't kill him.

So I ran, leaving Jack to think all of the worst things about me, to grow to hate me.

The nine months that I had spent alone were some of the best and worst of my life. I got to feel the baby- which I soon learned was not one little girl, but two little boys- grow within me, but knowing that Jack should have been here to share in these moments with me. Giving birth with only a fellow women's shelter occupant at my side brome my heart, but it was someone and that's all I could have hoped for. Seeing those beautiful babies laying naked in my arms, with their dark hair and faces like Jack's.

I knew with the first image of Liam and Ethan, that I couldn't die.

And as long as I could hold on, I would never let go.

* * *

><p>"Katherine- baby, if you can hear me, I need you to open your eyes. I'll never ask another thing of you if you would only open your eyes. I can't have you dying on me too; we just lost… You and the guys are all I got," Bobby whispered, sitting somewhere close to me. I would have opened my eyes, but whatever sedatives they had given me made that task impossible, superhuman. And from the way I was feeling I was wholly mortal. "Kate, please…"<p>

I wanted to look at Bobby, search those endless faucets of dark green eyes. I wanted to reach out and hold his hand, squeeze tightly just how I used to when I was a little girl.

Eventually I felt the strength return to my body, feeling a painful tingle in my entire being, but that was bearable. What was unbearable, however, was not knowing how Jack was. If he was alive or if he was…

No, I couldn't think like that.

"Jack," I murmured sleepily, feeling warm fingers running through my hair. "No sweetheart, its me," Bobby replied, sounding much more weary than he should have been for his thirty-three years. I let my eyes drift open and looked at him, Bobby resting his hand on my knee. "How are you feeling?"I began to weep, shaking my head, "Don't do that." Bobby bowed his head and wrapped his hand around mine, apologizing softly. "I should have never let this happen Kate; I'm sorry, I am so sorry..."

"Is he… Is he," I asked quietly, looking over at Bobby.

He inhaled and looked at me, reaching out to stroke my cheek comfortingly. "No, Kate… he's alive."


	31. The Turning Page

I stirred in my sleep as something tiny and insistent nudged against my leg, groaning slightly from the shifting in my injured pelvis. "Get the hell off of me Bobby," I muttered, not wanting to wake up just yet. I still needed some time to let myself process what had happened to me.

"Mommy. Mommy, wake up," a tiny voice whispered.

When I opened up my eyes, I looked down to see a tousle of dark brown curls, reaching out hesitantly. I then looked down at my feet and saw another tiny body sitting at my feet, my heart beginning to pound in my chest. "Hi mommy. You said a bad word; you gotta put a dollar in the swear jar," the little face beside me grinning.

There could only be one reason that the two things I loved most were in front of me and I knew that it wasn't good. "Ethan? Liam? No, no, no- I died. I must be dead… oh God, no," I said, beginning to panic.

"Kate, no! Your brother called us," Trish said, running to my bedside. "We flew out here for you!"

"You're really here then? Trish, tell me I'm not dreaming."

She leaned forward and kissed my forehead tearfully, "You're not dreaming baby. I'm with you; I ain't going nowhere."

Liam crawled into my lap and hugged me, my injured arm coming around him. "Auntie Trish told us you got a big boo-boo mommy. We came to make it better," he said, nestling into my side adorably. I began to cry and kissed the top of his head, never wanting to let him go ever again in my life. "You come here too Ethan."

I inhaled deeply and held them tightly, stroking the back of Ethan's arm with my uninjured hand.

"Boys, I need to tell you something," I whispered, the twins looking up at me curiously. "I was with your daddy when I got hurt and he got hurt too, a lot worse than what I did. But once he's better, he's coming home with us."

"Our daddy," Ethan asked, confused. "He wants us still?

I sniffled and nodded, biting down on my lower lip, "Yeah baby, of course. Your daddy's coming home."

Their immediate joy and happiness was infectious, Bobby even laughing quietly in the corner as he watched their excitement. Liam and Ethan suddenly turned to me in one of those mirrored movements that I would never understand, looking like their father more than ever. "Mommy, can we see our daddy," Liam asked, my eyes meeting Bobby's.

The look on his face spoke a thousand words.

"Umm, maybe later honey. I want you all to myself right now," I grinned, kissing them even as my mind drifted elsewhere. As a parent, it was my job to be present and in the moment with my kids, but I couldn't do that, not when Jack was somewhere in this hospital, hurting, alone.

I needed to be with him.

* * *

><p>"Ms. Scott, I need you to prepare yourself- Mr. Mercer is still in critical condition, but for now he's stable. Take a deep breath and let me know when you're ready to continue," the nurse said, my hand tight on my IV drip.<p>

Inhaling deeply, I nodded and she opened the door slowly, the sight before me taking me aback.

Jack was deeply unconscious and breathing with the aid of a machine, propped up in his hospital bed underneath a luminescent, albeit dim, overhead light. The illumination made his skin seem more sallow and white than I thought it should be, his beautiful face drawn and tense even in sleep. His chin was peppered with stubble from where he hadn't been shaved, seeming much older than he had when I had last seen him.

"Get out," I whispered, Jerry and Angel looking up from the seats at their brother's bedside. "Leave."

Once they and the nurse were gone, I stood, feeling my tightly bandaged hip burn in protest even as I walked over to Jack's bed. I ran my fingers over the back of his cold hand, choking quietly as I tried not to cry. "Oh God… I should have protected you baby. I'm so sorry I let you down," I sobbed, pressing my fingers to my lips.

I climbed into the bed gingerly, working around our IVs until I practically held him in my arms.

I don't know if it was just me, but it seemed as if he completely relaxed against me, the tense expression on Jack's face being replaced with a careful sort of ease that only gave me hope. He knew I was here, that I would never leave his side again, that he was okay.

Jack was safe.

"I've waited a hundred years, but I'd wait a million more for you… Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do," I murmured softly, stroking Jack's cheek. "If I had only felt the warmth within your touch- if I had only felt how you smile when you blush. Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough, I would've known what I've been living for all along. What I've been living for… Your love is my turning page, where only the sweetest words remain. Every kiss is a cursive line; every touch is a redefining phrase. I surrender who I've been for who you are; nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. If I had only felt how it feels to be yours, I would've known what I've been living for- what I've been living for… "

"Though we're tethered to the story we must tell, when I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well. With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas; like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees," I sang, closing my eyes as I pressed my forehead to his warm cheek.

Savoring the warmth, I let my breath match his, losing myself in my senses until I slept.


	32. Us

We kept vigil at Jack's bedside- I tried to be there as much as I could, but my doctors kept reinforcing that I was still a patient- the monotonous routine of bandage changing, sponge baths and hourly checkups wearing thin on my patience.

One night when I was allowed to visit him, I pulled my IV out of my arm and limped over to his bed.

Grabbing his face in my good hand, I stared down at him, "Jackson Leigh Mercer, I have had enough. Enough of this indecision of yours- we both know that the choice was ours and I came back; you can too. So get here because while you're waiting in that meadow, your sons are here and they're waiting. You have to come back to see them, you're a father and you cannot abandon your children, not after how hard you fought to have them. Jack, wake up. Wake up!"

There was no change in him, no difference in the beeping on the monitors.

"Is yelling at him going to change anything," Bobby asked from the doorway.

I turned to face him and inhaled deeply, shaking my head. "This isn't over," I murmured, the oldest Mercer walking towards me. I heard him sigh as he looked down at Jack, running a gentle hand over his little brother's messy hair.

"He'll wake up," he said, smiling softly. "You were the stubborn one but he learned from the best."

"And the rest of it? He almost died and for merely hurting him, Victor Sweet deserves to die, not to mention he killed mom. That son of a bitch tried to take everything from me in a hail of gunfire- my future, my family, the man I love- I'll be damned if he walks away from this…"

Bobby looked over at me and there was venom in his voice, "He's gonna suffer."

I nodded and turned back to Jack, biting my bottom lip.

"Good."

* * *

><p>I woke up to the sounds of choking, alarms starting to go off around my head from where I was sleeping lightly in the chair beside Jack's bed.<p>

He was staring at me wide-eyed, weakly pulling at the tube in his throat. I jumped out of my chair and reached out to him, touching him gently so as not to alarm him. "Stop Jack; I just need you to breathe until the nurses get here. You gotta calm down- don't fight it," I whispered, tears blurring my vision at the sight of him in distress.

Doctors came in droves to answer the calls, surrounding the bed and pushing me away.

"Mr. Mercer, don't fight-"

Thankfully, the ordeal was soon over, all of his vitals stable- he would be fine. When they had left, I was there, my hands shaking nervously as we looked at each other.

"Kate," he said weakly, closing his eyes. "Water."

I nodded and stood at his bedside table, pouring him a cup. With a straw, he drank, Jack sighing in thanks as I sat the water down. He looked up into my eyes and exhaled heavily again, "What happened Katherine?"

"You died on me Jack. Don't you ever do that again," I whispered, stroking his cheek. Jack smiled and shook his head, "I felt you let go in that room across the hall. I can't describe the feeling but once your heart stopped… They brought me back with the paddles."

"And almost fried your heart."

Jack chuckled eagerly, struggling to catch his breath. "I guess it did take a lot of that voltage when it was all said and done. Shit, I can still feel it-"

I leaned down and kissed him- ever careful of the healing ribs- inhaling quietly.

"Let's not talk about that."

I climbed into the bed beside him and wrapped my arm around his chest, resting my hand over the thick bandaging on his shoulder. "I never thought that I would stop thinking about the peace we used to find in the simple pleasure of being together- but I did. How we loved to watch the potent smoke rise from our cigarettes and blunts, and we thought that this was all there could possibly be to life. We used to drench ourselves in liquor, slurred and blurred and filled in the gaps that had turned black with beautiful colors. We prowled the graveyard at night, and got lost in the poetry and music of the long dead. We used to feel so wonderful, see so much beauty in our little town- our prison. Maybe it was just a tendency to see beauty when everything around us was so bad… We tested the limits over and over-

"And Jack, we almost lost. I almost lost you… and I told you that you are the one thing I'm not willing to lose. Let's just get married and have babies and be boring people; I'm tired of all this fighting," I sniffled, fresh tears springing to my eyes.

Jack bent down and pressed his lips to my forehead, "I wanna marry you Kate."

"Good, because I wanna marry you too…"

"Jack?"

We turned to look at our brothers in the doorway, all of them staring at Jack in disbelief. "When the doctors called, we didn't… Jack you're awake," Bobby said, sounding as if he was beyond relieved. He and Angel came over to the bed, Jack grinning like an idiot. Jerry, however, stuck to the door, repeatedly looking over your shoulder. "Hey Jack, I know you're still tired and all, but there's some people who want to see you- they wouldn't take no for an answer," he murmured, the shuffling of feet audible for only a second before the twins appeared in the doorway with Trish behind them.

Ethan and Liam looked up at Jack, both of them holding a teddy bear. Everyone stepped back to give Jack a full view of his sons and he inhaled once before chuckling tearfully, pulling himself up into a full sitting position.

"Hi daddy, we brought you these," Ethan said, holding out his bear.

"You can come closer if you want. I can't quite reach you," Jack replied faintly, still reaching out to his sons. I watched as Bobby and Angel helped them onto the bed, the twins having to sit in my lap because of Jack's injured legs. "Are you better yet daddy," Liam asked, looking up at him. "Mommy said you were gonna come home with us."

Jack smiled and nodded, "I'm coming home Liam. I have to stay here for a little while longer, but after that, we're going to be together- mommy and daddy, Ethan and Liam."

"And Auntie Trish," Ethan said, everyone turning to look at Trish.

She waved shyly and there was something in Bobby's eye as he met hers, his gaze turning back to the twins. "Of course," Jack said coolly, knowing who the woman in the doorway was immediately. I laid back and Ethan leaned against me, Liam preferring to sit on my leg closest to Jack. "So do you like your daddy," I asked quietly, Ethan shaking his head in disagreement as I ran my hand over his Mohawk lightly. I smiled and he reached up to kiss my nose, "I love my daddy."

"You should tell him that."

Ethan nodded and raised up, whispering in his brother's ear. Liam grinned conspiratorially and nodded, both of them knocking into Jack's chest with enough force to make him gasp. Just before I pulled them off, Jack locked his arms around him, ignoring the shoulder I knew was causing him pain beyond belief. I swallowed the knot in my chest as I heard them tell Jack they loved him, the man I was going to marry immediately sobbing. No one moved or said anything, the boys only holding onto their father that much tighter as he simply cried over them. It was his moment of welcoming his sons into his world, that instant in which it seemed you had seen the face of God- the way I felt when they had taken their first breaths. Jack hadn't had that chance and for now, to have him experience it was so bittersweet for it was the moment in which we truly became man and wife, parents and children, father and sons.

We became a family.


	33. With You

"There's still lots of things to do here. Victor Sweet still alive, but Bobby's plan is already in motion Trish. I made it this long- I might as well stay for the end," I murmured, my friend helping me to pack my bag to go home. Jack and I had both been discharged and would be headed to Jerry's house- Camille and the girls had gone to stay with her mother a few towns over for the holidays and until the coast was clear.

"He's an idiot too. Quinton was just like him- good heart, smart, but-"

I smiled and shook my head, "Bad as hell?"

Trish nodded and hefted my book bag onto her shoulder, watching me carefully as I stood. Clad in jeans and a thermal, I pulled on my jacket over my cast and slipped into my sling, groaning quietly. "This fucking hip is going to kill me if it doesn't stop throbbing," I muttered as I stepped into my boots and walked towards the door.

We did all the usual paperwork and I was let go, Trish and I going out to where our rented black Escalade was waiting. "Mommy," the boys called out, giggling as they ran across the parking lot from a small sedan. "That's my ride," Trish smiled.

"Follow us to the house."

"Are you sure that's okay," she asked, smiling apologetically when I gave her a glare. "Of course it is."

I greeted my boys as Jerry got out of the truck, the twins ecstatic to see their uncle. "Is daddy coming soon," Ethan asked as I leaned against the Escalade, his brother wrapped around my leg.

"Should be any minute now," I murmured, smiling as the automatic doors opened up.

Jack was glaring at me from his wheelchair, but smiled as soon as he laid eyes on the twins. "Hey kids; you ready to go to Uncle Jerry's house," he asked, grinning excitedly. It seemed like ever since Jack had first met his sons there was this shit-eating grin on his face like no one else had ever had children as great as ours- and they probably had, but I wouldn't be caught dead telling him that.

"Jerry, help me get the boys into the car," I said, trying my best to manage with one arm.

"Cripple," Jack muttered underneath his breath, grinning up at me when I gave him a severe look. I pecked him softly, however, and Jack's grin seemed to swallow up his entire face.

By the time we got to Jerry's, both Jack and the boys were sleep, Bobby and I exchanging a look like we were proud parents watching our beautiful kids sleep. "I can't wait to get out of this damn cast; I already miss carrying my boys," I murmured, climbing out of the car and limping into the house.

In the guest bedroom, Jack woke up just as Bobby put him to bed, staring around with a wide-eyed look. "Where's Liam and Ethan," he asked, the fear evident in his voice. "Kate, I need my boys."

"Jackie, we won't all be comfortable cramped into this little ass room. Jerry's already on the couch- he gave his room to Trish- Angel's camping out at Sofi's apartment and Bobby's on the floor. They'll be perfectly fine in the girls' room." Jack looked at me evenly from the bed, "I'm not letting them out of my sight." I threw my hands up in defeat and Bobby went to go get the twins, carrying them in a manner that was much too easy with two boys of their size- for all their life, I had been undoubtedly against realizing that my sons were very tiny for their age; I wanted them to be tall beanpoles just like their daddy.

Bobby left just as I jumped into bed with my family, my arm coming around all of them just as Jack's did the same. The twins stirred in their sleep briefly before adjusting and nestling down in the bed. We looked at each other over their heads, a tear running down Jack's face. "That was the last one," he murmured, inhaling deeply.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"It doesn't matter anymore Kate- doctor's appointment and morning sickness, watching you grow, feeling them move inside of you, watching them be born, cutting the cords, late nights and two AM mornings, first steps, first words- I can never get that back but I can't dwell on the past, not when I have to live in the here and now," Jack replied, closing his eyes and sighing heavily.

I smiled tearfully and closed my eyes, "No one has ever loved anyone like I love you Jack Mercer."

He only smirked and soon was asleep, leaving me to stare at his sleeping form. There was nothing that I cherished more than having my babies in my arms and their father holding us all tightly, like he would never let us go- and if it took every ounce of strength in my body, I would never let him go.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, both of the twins were gone and so were my shoes- someone had been extra attentive to us; looking down for my boots, I saw the twins' clothes as well and my heavy jacket thrown on the floor. "Where's the boys," Jack groaned, my movements having awakened him. I sniffed and smiled, "If that smell is any hint, they're probably enjoying some of Bobby Mercer's famous chocolate chip pancakes…"<p>

"Pancakes sound good."

I smiled conspiratorially and sat up just enough to pull my shirt off, looking down at Jack. "I think sex sounds better," I whispered, the suggestion seeming to wake Jack up. He looked up at me and searched my eyes, "Seriously?"

"So serious."

It seemed to take some time for us to get naked with working around injuries and all, but once I looked down at him, our bodies coming together in a way that sent shivers up my spine. Never mind all the horrors that we had seen and experienced- the only thing that mattered was the perfect manner in which we made love. Even in all his casts and with my injured ribs, the pain that being without him hurt much worse.

He laced our fingers together, squeezing gently as my eyes met his. "I'm with you."

"And I'm with you," I whispered, kissing him gently.

"Always Kate; always."


	34. Protection

I held Jack as he sprawled out across the couch in my lap, my fingers carefully threaded through his spiky hair. The boys were with Trish at her hotel, allowing us to figure out what to do with Victor Sweet.

"He's gotta die, no question about that," Bobby murmured. "But right now, he's untouchable."

The phone rang and Jerry got up to get it, leaving the rest of us to our discussion. We only stopped talking when Jerry moved into our field of sight, his face unusually drained of blood, "That was, uh, Green's commanding officer… he's dead. They found him behind the Four Roses last night, said it was a gang hit; Fowler was injured as well but he called it in."

"Fowler, Green, ma, Sweet," I murmured over and over, struggling to fit all of the puzzle pieces together.

I gasped in shock, my hands flying to my mouth. From what I had been told, Detective Fowler had been at all four crime scenes involving us and our mother's case- he had even tried to pin the assault on Evelyn's housed on us, the victims. There was no way there could be that many coincidences surrounding him…

"He's a dirty suit," I said, everyone looking at me. "Sweet has to own him, has to have someone working from the inside-"

"So we're fighting the goddamn police too," Jack asked, looking up at me.

I shook my head, my tears running down my face, "We've lost; they got us."

If anyone had ever asked me, I could have told them that you didn't have to be related by blood to be inducted into the massive mind meld. Not one of us in our positively fucked up family was related by blood, but the mutual ways in which we worked and existed made us seem all that much more like family.

As illustrated by how the brothers all turned to face me with the same glare of intense, single-minded intent.

"They don't have shit but five pissed off Mercers… Jerry, get your boy Sweet on the phone; set up a meeting," Bobby said, his mind coming up quickly with a plan. "We'll need money for the ruse though…"

"We'll drain the accounts, use the lifesavings," I suggested.

Bobby nodded and began to pace, wringing his hands together. "Get them nice and comfortable, buy his men maybe. And then… he's mine," Bobby said, that smirk on his face deadly even though I knew it wasn't directed towards me or any of us.

"What about Kate? Jack," Angel asked, consulting with his brother even as we protested. "You can go stay with Trish," Bobby said, Jack going silent even as I continued to argue with him. "I have no objections to sending Jack away, but I'm staying. I spent all this energy and time fighting this war and I'll be damned if I don't see it through. You ain't gonna change my mind Robert Mercer," I replied, the severe look on his face only softening slightly in defeat.

"I wouldn't think of it."

* * *

><p>"Fucking backstabber," Jack muttered as Bobby rolled him down the hall to Trish's hotel room.<p>

"Yeah, but you're marrying me…"

I knocked on the door and Trish flung it open, mascara running down her cheeks. I was shocked when she threw herself at Bobby, the oldest Mercer being pushed back into the wall behind him. "Trish, what the hell-" She was bawling even as he comforted her, shaking her head, "I can't do it again you son of a bitch! That night when I got here and we stayed up talking- you know what happened to me when I lost my husband and my kid; Bobby, you're gonna go and get yourself killed! I don't know you and we've only had sex a few times but I want you and I want you alive-"

"Trish," Bobby said simply, kissing her to shut her up. "I am not going to die on you. I'm coming back."

Trish sniffled and pulled away long enough to search his eyes, her hands playing in his slicked back hair.

"Promise," she demanded, Bobby rolling his eyes and nodding. "I promise; now get off me woman- we'll make a scene."

"What the fuck just happened," I questioned, Jack's expression echoing my sentiments. Trish blushed deeply and I shook my head- Bobby had worked his wiles on that woman. But even though he had probably bedded her the first night, I knew that Trish had done something to him that he hadn't even begun to realize; the way he had reacted towards her- compassionate and loving- was way out of character for him, especially to someone he hardly even knew.

I went to go kiss the twins and settle Jack in as Bobby and Trish got themselves together, making a mental note to make her tell me everything as soon as we had time to talk.

But all too soon it was time to leave and it was almost funny how Jack and the boys had the exact same pleading looks on their faces as I stood at the door. "Mommy, please don't go," Liam said before bursting into tears as he and Ethan wrapped themselves around my legs. With a sigh, I looked at Jack, his eyes narrowed.

"Boys, let me go; I'll be back before you have time to miss me," I said, looking down at them. "And that face doesn't work on me- your daddy's been using that since I was twelve years old."

"Come on Ethan, Liam. Mommy's gotta go save the world," Jack said mockingly, popping a wheelie in his chair even despite his injured shoulder. "Jack, stop doing that before you fuck up your entire arm from nerve damage- you wanna end up like me? And you're an ass for that last bit," I replied smartly, his blue eyes narrowing even further as he let the wheelchair down.

I watched warily as he rolled over, his pissed off and betrayed expression becoming carefully blank.

"Come down here and kiss me and you can go," Jack murmured, our roles strangely reversed as I had to bend down and he had to reach up. He held my face in hands and kissed me tenderly, leaving me to gasp for breath- something that killed my ribs with the way I was bent over. Jack pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes, "Don't get yourself killed, alright?"

"I wouldn't think of it."


	35. Loose Ends

"Stay in the car Kate," Bobby said, looking back me carefully.

Through the windshield, I could see Jerry, alone and defenseless as he was surrounded by the same thugs that had prowled the streets when we were kids.

And with him was the man that had killed my mother.

"Angel's gonna call you when he's done with Fowler," he murmured. "If he doesn't call…"

"I got it," I murmured, leaning forward into the front seat and kissing Bobby. He pulled away, giving me a perplexed look as I smiled, "I'm glad to see that. Now go- and be careful; you promised Trish you'd come back and she's a vindictive bitch if I've ever met one." He got out of the truck and I watched as Bobby walked up to Sweet, taking his jacket off and dropping it in the snow. They exchanged what seemed to be heated words, the only snippets I caught being "Over some old lady" and "Watch your motherfucking mouth" from Sweet and Bobby respectively.

Sweet took off his jacket just as Bobby began to warm up for the fight, catching Victor off guard with a hard blow to his stomach. Evelyn's murderer retaliated with a knee to Bobby's groin, my brother's knees buckling as he hit the ice. "Shit, he hit him hard," I said, my fingers twitching on the door handle. I didn't open it, however, knowing that I would only get myself hurt.

The cell phone in the cup holder began to ring and instead of a call, it was a text simply saying 'we got him.'

Sweet was on top of Bobby and I began to scream inside of the car, slamming my hands on the dashboard as I climbed into the front seat.

"Get up Bobby!"

His elbow connected to Victor's nose and mouth, Sweet stumbling back as he clutched at his face. I watched as Bobby struggled to his feet and then pulled Victor up behind him, "Get up and fight bitch!" Victor swung at Bobby and I winced as I watched the fist connect with his ribs; it didn't seem to phase him as Bobby hit him back with a right hook to his side, kicking him onto his ass. He was whaling on Sweet like there was no tomorrow.

I could see the blood pooling in the snow.

And then Bobby stopped.

I had never seen him restrain himself like that- he actually left Sweet alive as he was still moving and spitting up blood. There was an unheard command from him and then the men started to move, one cutting a large hole in the ice before they dropped Victor into it.

Bobby stalked back to the truck, Jerry struggling to keep up with him.

I watched in shock, as he got behind the wheel, and slammed the door before allowing himself to cry. It killed me to watch him and I closed my eyes, reaching over to put a hand on his shoulder. "Bobby, let me drive." Once I was driving, he began to calm, wiping his eyes self-consciously as I watched him out of the corner of my eye. "What you said earlier 'glad to see that', that was about Trish?"

"Yeah," I whispered, Bobby nodding.

"She's more like you than I think you like to realize. Soon as I saw her running through the airport with the boys at her side- jet black hair cut at her collarbones, big blue eyes- I knew that… she was it for me. I knew that there was something in her that was you, for lack of a better term, and me. Kate, since you were a kid, you were just like me and then Jack was just like you and now Trish, the boys. You changed her and that made her right; hell, if she was just some dumb broad, I probably wouldn't have looked at her twice, but she's not just some dumb broad. She's…. Trish," Bobby said, trying to explain to me what I already knew.

I'd rubbed off of Trish in a big way so there was no surprise in why there would be any similarities- I had done the exact same with Bobby and then Jack, which was why we were the way we were. That fiery quality that Bobby possessed was tempered by Jack's gentle personality and then further changed by my own influence.

Trish, for lack of a correct description, was perfect for Bobby.

When we got back to Jerry's we were greeted by the police, being jerked out of the car and handcuffed in almost the same instance. There were no Miranda Rights given, no charges explained, only chaos and confusion on their part as to why we were being arrested. We knew what we did, but we'd be damned if they ever knew the truth behind Fowler's deception and Victor Sweet's disappearance.

* * *

><p>After being questioned persistently the cops had let me go, long before I ever saw any of my brothers.<p>

I called Camille, Sofi and Trish, needing someone to sit with me to wait. Before long, they had all arrived, the twins crawling into my lap as we waited and listened for any word on the Mercer men.

We all looked up as Jeremiah was thrown out of an interroation room, Camille shrieking belligerently as she went to go tend to him, "Don't push him like that!" She took his face in her hands and began to tend to his swollen eye, Jerry wincing. "Come here; let me see Jerry," Camille said, cooing over her husband.

"Its alright," Jerry protested. "Its just a boo-boo."

"No, it is not just a boo-boo Jeremiah Mercer, somebody put their fist in your eye! Let me see it…"

He sighed and tried to shake her off again, "C'mon now!" I shook my head as Angel brushed past them down the hallway, Sofi jumping up and wrapping her arms around it. "Did you do it? Did you get him baby," she asked quietly, Angel nodding as she kissed him.

"Let me catch you on the street without that badge! I'll smack that smirk right off your face, you punk!"

I smiled as the infamous Bobby Mercer was released as well, seeing him stalk down the hallway and make a beeline straight for Trish. He kissed her, unashamed of who was watching, brushing her hair back with the lightest of touches. "Told you I was coming back," Bobby said, Trish smacking him in the shoulder. He gave me and the boys each a kiss on the forehead before returning to the front desk, demanding his toboggan and the gun that they had taken from him. I left my sons with Trish and went to go stand with my brothers, hearing Camille fuss about Jerry.

"Bobby told me he wasn't gonna let him get hurt Sofi-"

"He's breathing Cam," Bobby grinned, looking down at me.

I raised an eyebrow and smirked, turning my attention to Jerry, "You said something, didn't you Jerry?"

He instantly took the defensive as Angel began to argue with him, Bobby knowing that all I had wanted to do was cause a fight. "If he didn't say something, I did," he replied, both of his brothers turning to face him.

"What'd you say?"

"Told him I was banging his wife," Bobby said before he began to laugh. Angel's face lightened considerably and he joined in the laughter, "I did too."

Even Jerry nodded and agreed, Bobby throwing an arm around my shoulder.

"We need to go get Cracker Jack… and let's go celebrate," he suggested, the others agreeing. My eyes grew wide as I thought of all we had to be happy for, my grin taking over my whole face. "Me and Jack are getting married," I proclaimed, all of their smiles disappearing. Jerry looked at me with the most severe expression I had ever seen on his face, "You're what?"

"Not my sister," Angel growled and I was overcome by glee, knowing that Jack had an uphill battle with his brothers.

Sure they let us be together, but any guy- even their brother- had to go through them to marry their sister.

And things were looking up for a change.


	36. Vow

I paced in my bathroom back and forth, my hands pressed to hips.

In the several months that had proceeded Evelyn's death- after Jack and I had found each again- much had changed.

Jack was doing much better, having worked himself out of the wheelchair and crutches- he was now to the point where he could walk without much assistant; he loathed his cane with a passion. And it killed him that he couldn't play football with his kids like Bobby could. Although he was working with a physical therapist five days out of the week, there wasn't much else for him to do until his body had fully healed- but I knew that Jack wouldn't just wait around for the next year or two. As well, I had made a pretty miraculous recovery, being able to hold a scalpel and perform surgery within maybe nine weeks after the shooting. I still bore my scars, but they were battle wounds and I wore them proudly.

The boys had adapted to having a father just like he had been there all along, Jack finding it a little harder to cope with having an instant family. But I was proud of him, my already husband taking to task my being on call many nights, having to care for his sons and taking the load off of Trish.

Bobby had had no hesitations about moving to be with her- he saw it as a chance to be with his family as well.

Angel and Sofi were nearby in Long Island, only a drive over the bridge to be at the 'love nest' as Sofi had christened it. The only person not within close proximity was Jerry, who had cleaned up ma's house and turned it into a non-profit shelter for the many street kids that Evelyn had been in the process of helping when she had died.

We had survived and that was all I could have asked for and more; I was happy.

And now it seemed that I was getting even more.

My cooking timer went off and I rushed to the bathroom counter, picking up the pregnancy test in front of me. "Oh my God," I whispered, pressing my hand over my mouth. There was a bang on the bathroom door and I jumped, throwing the test in the trashcan.

"Come on Kate! You're going to be late for your own wedding!"

* * *

><p>I inhaled deeply as I stood in front of the doors out to the gardens where Jack was waiting, hearing a muffled 'Flightless Bird, American Mouth' playing over the speakers outside- I was sure that it was his bandmates were playing.<p>

"You sure you wanna do this Katie," Bobby asked as I took his arm, looking down upon me.

I smiled as the doors opened and my eyes looked down the aisle of flower petals to where all of our friends and our small family awaited me, "I'm sure."

Jack's eyes widened at the sight of me, Jeremiah and Angel standing at his side. I knew that as a bride, my husband-to-be had never seen me like this. I wore a strapless dress made of light silk, the hem ruffled around my knees. My hair was done up with flowers and I wore no makeup other than a coat of mascara and some lip gloss. As well, he was looking… dashing done up in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up under a grey vest and paired with dark grey pants with his new cane.

As I reached him, he held his hand out, the music dying down in a subdued manner, "God, you're beautiful."

"I could say the same for you," I replied, kissing him almost impatiently. Jack smiled and kissed my forehead, turning towards the minister presiding over our wedding. When it came to our vows, Jack suddenly flushed and I grinned, knowing of his discomfort.

I watched as he pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read, clearing his throat. "I love you Katherine Scott, not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you and not only for what you have made of yourself but for the man you have made out of me. I love you for the part me that you bring out, for the sons that you have given me… I love you for putting up with me and for drawing out all of the light that I didn't even know I had inside. I love you because you are helping me to make of the dreams of my life a reality," Jack murmured before folding it and looking at me intensely. "Out of the words of my every day not a reproach but a song- yes, a love song."

"You are one of my most precious gifts from God, my hope and everlasting joy. You are everything that's good and pure and true and I worship you with my mind, body and soul. How blessed I am to be able to say that you are mine, to be able to love and cherish you for the rest of my days. I vow to always put you first in my life, always be there to comfort you in your sorrow and rejoice with you in your victories. May our hearts and very breath become one as we unite this day as husband and wife. I love you Jackson Mercer," I vowed, smiling before I leaned in to kiss him once more.

We were pronounced husband and wife, kissing passionately as the applause and cheers became deafening.

When it was our time to have a moment to ourselves Liam and Ethan accompanied us, Jack watching their hands locked around my own.

"So this is normal life," he asked, sitting down on a bench.

I laughed and shook my head, watching the boys as they ran around like little terrors. "There is nothing normal about our life Jack. Your band is on its way up and we're two killers who just got married and are raising two little boys. But none of that matters, its perfect- you're perfect," I replied as I cupped his cheek in my hand. For a few moments, it seemed like there was nothing else in the world but us two, Jack's spirit seeming to show itself to me for the first time in our life together. Scarred and broken in some places, the overwhelming strength and love his soul exuded made all the bad parts dimmed in comparison. Sure he was human- and he definitely had his faults- but to me, he was just as I had told him.

Perfect.

The twins protested as we kissed and I began to giggle, Jack glaring playfully at his sons. "What are you whining about," he growled out, Ethan grinning back at him. "When you kiss mommy its gross!"

"Well, I've done much worse," Jack murmured as he charged at the boys with a menacing look on his face. They split into two different directions and Jack looked at me, the both of us going off after Liam and Ethan. I caught Ethan and tickled him nearly to death, Trish deciding to come away from where she was laughing with Bobby and help me in the torture.

"Got the other one!"

Jack brought Liam to where Ethan and I were and joined us in the torture of our sons. Trish and I left them to tussle, the twins ganging up on my new husband. "They're cute at that age, huh," I asked, speaking more of Jack than Ethan or Liam. She grinned and shook her head, looking back over her shoulder at Bobby as she rested her hand on her rounding stomach, "I think when they get older, they get more and more fun- you can do more stuff with 'em."

"Looks like you and Bobby had too much fun," I replied before laughing.

"Like you and Jack don't."

When everyone began to demand our first dance, I held my hand out for Jack to take, his eyes instead becoming dark. "What's the matter," I questioned quietly, stepping towards him. Jack looked at our guests before turning to me, his expression even though not blank. "The only thing I wanted on our wedding day was to be able to dance with my wife. I'm not sure I can," he replied through his teeth.

I looked at him tenderly and shook my head, walking over to Jack. I wrapped my arms around his neck, inhaling his smoky scent. "Oh honey…"

We walked underneath the sheeted canopy where all of our guests were waiting and smiled, clearing my throat, "Give me your hand Jack."

Jack did and I reached up to lace my arm around his neck, pressing my head to his shoulder. We moved, my fiance following my lead as the music began to play in the background. It was like the whole world disappeared as I stood in his arms, Jack's face turned downwards to my own, love and passion wavering between us.

"I have a wedding present for you," I whispered, Jack raising an eyebrow. "I'm pregnant."


	37. Welcome to the Family

"Hold on Kate," Jack said nervously.

He was always nervous when we got to the hospital- baby number five and here he was, in a panic at the most natural of happenings in the world.

I got out of the car and into the wheelchair waiting for me, looking at the back door of the truck as my children piled out. Ethan and Liam, who were now both eleven, helped out their little sisters- Amie, who was five and Tessa, who was two and looking forward to being a big sister.

"Come on kids," I smiled before crying out as a contraction rocked me.

Jack was by my side- as he had always been- as I was taken up to my room, his hand around mine. I said goodbye to my children as they waited for the others to arrive, the last look of my children waiting anxiously as they waved me off.

"Oh, this is worse than Aime," I said, gripping Jack's hand. "But it'll be worth it."

I pressed my hand out and screamed through a contraction as my feet were pressed to the stirrups. My husband kissed my hand and looked at the doctors coming to the room, "Just relax and breathe Kate; its just as easy as that, nothing to it-"

"You should know after you got a black eye last time that you shouldn't say things like that to me! If its so fucking easy then you do it Jack- you go and squeeze a fucking nine pound baby out of your dick and see how fucking easy it is then!" I broke out in a sweat and then he began to sponge off my forehead, my free hand clutching at the mattress for dear life. "I want to know what we're having Jack," I said suddenly, my husband looking uncomfortable.

"Kate, you told me not to tell you. No matter what," Jack replied, chewing on his bottom lip.

This baby- our last baby- was a complete surprise, conceived when we weren't even trying for another child. When it came to learning about the sex, I had wanted to keep it a secret but Jack just had to know and so for the last four months, he'd kept quiet.

I cried out and the doctors began to rush into position, Jack looking at me in a panic, "We're having a boy Katherine!"

"A boy," I asked, panting heavily. "Oh, Jack, he's coming! I can feel him-"

My words were cut off by my own scream, my entire body bowing up underneath the power of the contraction. "The baby's crowning," a muffed voice said, my eyes staring into my husband's as he stroked my hair back from my sweat-covered face.

"One more push Katie," Jack whispered, nodding with a smile. I nodded as well and pushed for a final time, gasping at the sudden loss of pressure.

"Congratulations, it's a boy," one of the doctors said underneath high-pitched cries, Jack lifting my head so that I could see our baby.

The nurses took him before the doctors returned to tend to me, the residual pain ignored for the time being. I reached up as a nurse brought my son to me, Jack peering down at him when he was laid in my arms. "Oh, he's gorgeous," I whispered, stroking his cheek. The baby looked up at me with eyes just like my own and I kissed his forehead, stroking his lovely curls.

"What are we going to name him," I asked quietly Jack lifting him from my arms.

He sighed heavily and looked down at our son, shrugging slightly, "I dunno..."

I was cleaned up just as Trish called to inform us that she was there, Jack answering the phone without jostling our baby the slightest bit.

There was a knock on the door and we were greeted by balloons and smiling faces, the kids rushing in to meet their newest sibling. I held Tessa to my side, answering her excited questions as the others got the first look of the as-of-yet unnamed baby Mercer.

Trish came to my bed and bent down to kiss my forehead, working around her own burgeoning stomach. "You look damn good for just having given birth," she smiled, her son Robby at her side. I smiled and ran my fingers back through my hair, "You tease even though you know you're gonna be in my place in a couple of weeks." Trish laughed before moving to hold my youngest son, Bobby sitting down at my feet. He patted my feet and pulled Aime up into his lap, wrapping his arm around her securely. "So what's the newest little terror's name," he asked, watching as his wife bounced the baby in her arms."

"We haven't quite figured that out yet," I replied as Sofi walked in and began to squeal excitedly over the baby. "Have you called Angel?"

"He sends his best from Iraq, said he's coming home on leave in a couple of weeks. Jerry and Camille are flying down this weekend," Bobby said before opening his arms as Sofi passed the baby to him. I watched, bemused at how much he had changed from the 'Michigan Mauler' to doting father.

Jack looked up at me and smiled, sitting down at my side. I hummed contently as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, snuggling into his side lovingly.

Soon enough, the baby was back in my arms, his eyes fluttering closed as he nestled down into my embrace. My mind wandered to our future and I let out a tiny sigh, Jack giving me a knowing look. We had no delusions at the difficulties that lay ahead of us- many of which we had to confront time and time again. But none of that mattered, not when we knew we were going to pull through. I smiled as I thought of all the people that I loved more than life itself, knowing that the majority of them were in this room, safe and relatively happy.

"I'm exhausted," I murmured, Jack kissing my forehead.

He looked down at our son and cupped his downy head in his massive hand lightly, his brow furrowing before he smiled almost triumphantly. Jack looked to me once more, inhaling deeply, "I'm going to let you sleep, but after we give this kid a name. I'm thinking Thomas… Scott; its a strong name."

"Thomas Scott Mercer," I smiled, pressing a kiss to my baby's head. "Welcome to the family."


End file.
